XH had taken pictures on his phone of businesses that had OW's surname in the name of the business. And pictures of products that had her name in them as well.
Well, you jest...but one of them was '[her surname] bedding' (from July 2014).
There was also '[her name] potatoes. For chipping, baking, smashing and roasting'. From about the time where I discovered a text he'd written to her saying that he still loved her (November 2014).
From just before then is the picture of him kissing his work colleague.
Also amongst the pictures were some from after he'd left, and of her trying on some dresses before her awards ceremony. Some of a couple of bunches of flowers around the same time as the awards ceremony (wondering if they're the ones that he bought, as they appear on his bank statement from then?), a couple of pictures of him from the same time, all dressed up and treating himself to a fancy dinner (they were in separate continents at the time of the awards), one of her wearing a necklace, including a close up complete with a very skanky old and ugly, greying bra.
And a nekkid selfie she took of herself from about the same time. Oh dear...public setting for the images and everything. Oops.
When I think of all of this stuff I feel it bringing me down. All the negative emotions, remembering what those felt like at the time, and how I felt after too.
And then I just feel like I'm going to throw up. I really do. It makes me sick to the pit of my stomach.
And then after feeling disgusted, I feel angry. Angry at having been disrespected and duped like that. Like, how dare someone treat me like that?
Working on your self and your self esteem is a lifelong process. It doesn't stop. And I don't want it ever to stop for myself. It's become the backbone of what I'm about.
