With the temps and the 20 nor'easters where I live, it really feels like spring will never come. Nice weather helps my mood, so someone bring it on.
A year ago, I would have ben on the road to Hilton Head Island with FF. It really was a great trip, we had almost a week together just us and every single moment was great, quite honestly. He's probably bringing his woman down there for Savannah's St Paddy's day festival, and yeah, I am a little jealous. FB also decided to remind me that 8 years ago today my ex came to my apartment unannounced after D was in bed to tell me he asked OW to marry him. I remember it clearly as I went ballistic. I mean, I went NUTS. I am such a different person now. I have amazing control on my emotions these days. I had no filter for this situation back then. The hurt and betrayal was so pure.
D10 has been complaining again that she doesn't see her dad enough. (it really is interesting as she complains about him mostly, but she does miss him). She asked him to come to her ice skating lesson tomorrow and he told her "maybe" D10 asked me to move his day up to wed next week, but I have an event Thursday. ExH says "she is never happy" I would have given him Wednesday and Thursday happily, but he didn't ask, and he would have said no if I offered it, and him and D10 were on speakerphone. He refuses to take an extra week day. Too much work. Sad, really.
I had Mr. Softee over for dinner and a movie last night and I realize I regret not just ending it. I got the b@lls to do it, I DID IT, then I gave a second chance. I am just not attracted to him. And I really hate that he played his phone game during dinner and when he "had" to. I guess it bothers me so much because I think of my ex playing these games (which he never did when we together, believe it or not, he was attentive and he liked attention). My D10 hates her father's game playing, because he does it upon awakening and chance he gets and get's nasty. Anyways, I would happily give him an extra day, he just does not want it. But I am not changing my plans, they are good plans that I bought an $80 ticket too.
While I was typing this, I got a call from the internal recruiter who forwarded one of my applications to the hiring manager and they are very interested in me. You know there has to be a catch, right? Another organization in our area will be buying the entity I would be working for. It will be a co-ownership between my current organization and another one, but the greater owning is on the other one. This will be happening in 10 months, and they want to ensure I am ok with that. The problem is I have a commitment to my organization because I received tuition reimbursement. So I have to see how that is going to work out. Because I certainly can't pay 10K back. So, I am trying to get answers and of course, no one can seem to answer my questions (I work for a fortune 100 company, BTW). Ugh. Nothing is every non-convoluted, is it?
There is more, but this is too much already!
Last edited by job; 03/16/1808:03 AM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Oh Ginger I wish I coukd just give you a big hug! I also want the edit button back on here - WTH? I was wondering as you were talking about Mr. Softie and then next sentence you're back on exH. Lol
I noticed no one, myself included, commented after you did the 180 and let Mr. Softie talk his way back in. Going to call you guys Mr and Mrs Softie - just for different reasons. I can only speculate why others said nothing. For me it's part not knowing what to say, part you'll do what you want even after half a dozen suggestions otherwise - as you should, it's your life. Sadly it sounds like you're re-figuring it out on your own, which is better than settling for better than nothing.
So, after you told him that his gaming is a turn off he played during dinner? REALLY? And why would he "have" to play? What possible reason? Talk is so cheap. It's actions. It's okay not to be attracted to him! You're not a bad person for that. Thing is, you're starting to tread on the dark side with on again off again. Do you really want him thinking, "this chick doesn't know what she wants".
You WANT to be attracted. You WANT him to get it together. It's just not in the cards - not short term anyhow. Again, that's okay. Hopefully you'll figure it out.
And then just to clarify, my previous comments about breaking up after sleep overs was not intended to insinuate you were reluctant to drop him after having sex. While that often can cloud things, I don't think it has for you, in part for obvious reasons. . My point was FOR ME if I went out with a woman 3 or 4 times on typical dates with no sleep overs I'd not really expect much more than a casual break up. Just me. Text would still rank low but not much more than, "I just don't see this going anywhere," is needed. However if I spent the night and then later spent a weekend, or at least two nights in a row and she texted a break up, I'd look at that differently. Again, that's just me. But I'd be like, we spent 48 hours together plus dates and you text me? Hook ups aside, that's how I see it. I would think I'd owe anyone I was at that level with a proper break up and vise versa. Not the case after a few dinner dates or activities. Hope that clarifies what my origional point was.
I'm sorry you are struggling. I just hope you don't compromise who you are as a result of it. I think I said it before in I'm a bit confused with some of these actions so he has to be. You also deserve better than an unemployed, out of shape, gaming addict who has a variety of health issues to boot. You know this, I know you do. Everything else is rationalization, which I've heard some claim to be the second strongest human drive.
And finally I agree with others who say, rebook that trip to Florida ASAP!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Hopefully you get a weather reprieve soon. In regards to the guy, I have faith you will do what’s best. I was married to a video game player so I don’t get the appeal. But....you are human. You are lonely and thats normal. We all like a little validation and companionship-even if it’s not with someone we really want. I know you will end it when you are ready.
Hopefully something with the job pans out soon.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Hey, my people! I appreciate the support and I really do know you all are right. Yes, it did feel good to have male company when I was pretty much starving for it. I am so against doing that as to not to hurt someone else, but is there true hurting someone in the beginning. I had hoped maybe it could be something more, but it can't be. And when I knew it, I still tried to enjoy a little male company. But I don't enjoy it from him anymore. He wanted to stay over the other night, but had said himself "I know you gotta go to work in the morning, so you should get some sleep....." I was like "yup, good idea, you should go home". I never felt that way about anyone. I love having a guy sleeping next to me (which has not been anymore more than 20 nights in the last 10 years combined, btw. The most was FF, and it wasn't that often, maybe twice a week). It's not there for me. It turns out I am not so desperate I'll take any male attention, lol.
I am still not sure how to go about this that works for me. I didn't actually talk to him Friday, we texted yesterday too, and he told me how much he loved the dinner I made and watching a movie with me. Ugh. I said "I am glad you enjoyed both".
Yesterday we went ice skating, and exH met us because D10 asked him too. I'm glad he showed up. he actually did o much better this week, and he was very encouraging, which means the world to her to have his approval, so it was a good thing. He asked if we had plan for lunch, and we didn't, o the 3 of u had lunch together. All was fine and well.
BUT GET THIS! We were sitting on the bleachers together watching her skate and he was texting someone. I happened to glance at his phone..... Someone who wasn't his wife, but definitely a female, sent him a selfie headshot of herself all done up. He also had his phone tilted away, but I am sneaky. And he has never bothered to tilt his phone away from me. It wasn't a group text, it was just this woman, and I couldn't read the name. Maybe it's a friend, I dunno. But I wouldn't be freakin' surprised if he was having an A.
Enough about the cheater. We went out with friends, it was fun. I couldn't get my mind off St patricks day last year, though. ANd it was the first time I almost reached out to FF. I am being honest, as embarrassing as it is. I did not, however. I actually fell asleep early. I am sad and missing what was in my state of confusion I guess. I can't even say what is going on around me in my real life, but I can't help but say "hey, universe, you forgot about me!" and "If that happened to me, I would never ever, take it for granted"
Last, but not least, there has been some very interesting job developments as of Friday. I ended up finding out that I am not commited to my organization at all because of the tuition reimbursement. I am shocked. I am free to go anywhere. Now this really makes me think. I would like to stay with the organization if I could, because I am a bit vest, I got up to 5 weeks vacation this year, and it's nice. But the opportunity to make the transfer even though it's going to be bought by another organization (which is actually the one I volunteer for) is really really tempting. I just need to make sure my job is secure when they do switch over. Also, if I don't want that, I will at least be a case manager in a the system and if by then an opportunity was present in the hospital in my system close to me, well, I would have that option!
I think something good is going to come to me by way of my career. My love life may never work out, but I just know the hard work and passion I put into my career will one day. I am absolutely terrified of making the wrong choice. I have before. I made the wrong choice for the wrong reasons twice. I know I have to make the right choice for the right reasons. But there is hope I am getting out of this job.
Long winded again, but never a dull moment I guess. Which is good and bad. Today D10 and I are going to the gym and doing some shopping and making some scones.
I am definitely booking that trip. I am definitely locking myself up for the month of April. I've got to lose the weight and just focus on my mind and body. I know I need my socialization, but I also think I need this in a way. Then I break out of it with a trip to FL, hopefully looking and feeling good about myself.
Wish me luck. I have an interview on Wednesday for the Nurse Care Manager position. I spoke to the hiring manager on the phone which I will be interviewing with, and we clicked. Her middle name is my first name, which is not a common name and she pointed it out, we had a laugh. Maybe it's an Omen, hahaha. Actually in my current poisiton, my recruiter, and my female manager both have the same first name as my ex H. I said to myself "either this is a good omen, or a bad one". I used the restroom before the interview and the "w" fell off the "women" sign. Talk about an Omen!
Anyways, I haven't interviewed in a few years, so I am nervous as heck. but hopefully all goes well.
Good luck G.. I don't know if Nurse interviews are the same, but I I interview a lot of people, and the best responses always include three things: 1. What was the issue 2. What actions did you take 3. What was the end result
Spend some time thinking about big successes/projects you've had, customer service issues you've dealt with, challenge you've had to overcome (could be a process or procedural issue). Never hurts to have responses in mind for the most common questions.
Remember, every interview is practice, try not to pressure yourself that this is do or die, people who are calm and confident interview so much better, don't stress yourself out..
Oh, and go get it girl
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
. My point was FOR ME if I went out with a woman 3 or 4 times on typical dates with no sleep overs I'd not really expect much more than a casual break up. Just me. Text would still rank low but not much more than, "I just don't see this going anywhere," is needed. However if I spent the night and then later spent a weekend, or at least two nights in a row and she texted a break up, I'd look at that differently. Again, that's just me. But I'd be like, we spent 48 hours together plus dates and you text me? Hook ups aside, that's how I see it. I would think I'd owe anyone I was at that level with a proper break up and vise versa. Not the case after a few dinner dates or activities. Hope that clarifies what my origional point was. 