Much of this stinks and you have every right to feel down but let's look at some bright sides. Yes surgery AGAIN IS A BUMMER but it sounds like it's going to fix your problem. That's great! Imagine if you had been told that this may be as good as it's going to get and you better get used to it? Some people get that news. Instead you'll have to struggle through a couple weeks but then be closer to normal!
You absolutely need to go on your trip! no two ways around it. Go, go, go - no matter what!
Now what is up with you and this guy? I've been with you so far. It takes time to get to know someone and them to show you who they are. I think this guy has done that - yet you don't want to hurt his feelings? What's that about? You guys are still casual with less than a dozen dates - much less. He's showing you who he is. He's not what you want and deserve, that's clear. The signs are now there. You know your feelings are not there. What is holding you back from just ending this? You tried, you gave him opportunity. You're just not a match. You deserve more than he can provide at the very least the timing on his end is not there. He has work to do on himself - a lot of work - before he's ready for an R. And lose your job = play video games and eat junk food? Oh, C'mon. And I sounds like an abrupt and sudden firing?
Enjoy Florida! Enjoy being with your friend. I think you'll come back rejuvenated and ready to let this latest frog hop onto the next one so you can continue searching for someone more on your level and worthy of your affection. You might even meet someone fun while in the sunshine state!
I think you see your path moving forward rather clearly. It's just now a matter of following your gut.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I planned on just ending things, but when someone tells you they just got fired, it's like "hey, can I make your day any sh!ttier?" Especially when he was like "what would you want with a fat bald guy with a limp d!ck who doesn't have a job" (also a turn off.
I don't owe him anything. I just know how crappy I felt yesterday when I got the news about my knee, I told my dad, then he began fighting with me and hung up on me because I wouldn't cancel my trip. When things pile on, you just feel worse, and I didn't want to do that. I am probably doing no favors by waiting either. But I just really want to get away and clear my head this weekend. If the weather will allow me. I think I pissed him off anyways when he texted me.
I do not at all see this guy as a future. And with the present situation, not so much in the present. So, yes, I gotta cut the ties.
When are you flying out? I am in MD and I saw on the news that some of the flights in and out are going to be delayed and/or canceled for tomorrow. Saturday will be a mess because the airlines will be rescheduling, etc. We will be under a high wind advisory from 3:00 a.m. Friday and until around 7:00 p.m. Friday evening. It is my understanding that this nor'easter is a fast moving storm and will be out of my area by late Friday evening. I hope that you can get out before this hits the area or leave sometime Saturday.
As for your knee, gosh, I do hope your surgeon can repair this issue for you and get you back on your feet very, very soon.
As for the new guy, I think I would go on my trip and when I returned, I would have to tell him that it's not going to work out for you as you have to focus on your recovery since you are having a surgical procedure.
Please travel safely.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
When are you flying out? I am in MD and I saw on the news that some of the flights in and out are going to be delayed and/or canceled for tomorrow. Saturday will be a mess because the airlines will be rescheduling, etc. We will be under a high wind advisory from 3:00 a.m. Friday and until around 7:00 p.m. Friday evening. It is my understanding that this nor'easter is a fast moving storm and will be out of my area by late Friday evening. I hope that you can get out before this hits the area or leave sometime Saturday.
As for your knee, gosh, I do hope your surgeon can repair this issue for you and get you back on your feet very, very soon.
As for the new guy, I think I would go on my trip and when I returned, I would have to tell him that it's not going to work out for you as you have to focus on your recovery since you are having a surgical procedure.
Please travel safely.
I am supposed to be flying out of JFK tomorrow at 3pm. It's not looking good, I know it. It's mainly the wind. I am pretty sure the weekend I have been looking forward to is not going to happen. I might just come to work Monday if it doesn't happen and schedule my procedure for next Friday and just get it over with.
I'm going to have to end it next weekend, I know. I feel bad. I can't make this into something it is not. He is not a match. I've got my plate full for this month anyways.
I'm a little bit down. Drained maybe. If this weekend doesn't happen, I am going to treat myself to something enjoyable.
I'm so sorry you are having such crappy luck. Reminds me of something my dad says all the time "if it weren't for the bad luck I have, I wouldn't have any luck at all".
I concur with what others have said before me and what you already know.......don't prolong something that is inevitable. You gave this guy more than a fair shake and he's not your cup of tea. DO NOT SETTLE! If I learned anything at all from my marriage, that was the biggest lesson. I know you now that, though.
I hate that it looks like your trip will be cancelled, but absolutely, you should treat yourself, particularly if you don't get to go. Go do something fun and just pamper yourself and have a good time. It will be worth it! Hang in there, lady! Life can be tough, but you are much tougher!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
If you do happen to fly out tomorrow, please travel safely and enjoy your time away.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I don't know what it's like in South Florida, but in North Florida the weather is perfect and it'll be nice all weekend. The grass is green and everything is starting to bloom.
spring has sprung the grass has riz I wonder where all the birdies is
Well, I haven't had a very fruitful past few days. My flight was cancelled, so no FL trip for me. One thing I had to is buh-bye. I had my MRI done, and he said there is scar tissue, and maybe an additional meniscial tear and he is goin to go in, clean it out, and manipulate it. My dad is going away, so if I don't get it in this week, I need to find someone to drive me. I had an offer from a friend. POF guy could do it, he aint gots no job, but that would be using him. I will need 10 days straight legged and as much time in the painful splint aside from my regular locked ACL brace. I only planning on taking 2 days off of work, so I am just going to suffer at my desk like that for a few days.
Due to the very high winds, I lost power last night at 5. A tree fell on power lines by my house. I decided to go out with a friend for a few hours, I came on, it was still off, so I climed into bed with a bunch of blankets and woke up freezing my arse off. I am in a coffee shop now because I need my coffee, some warmth, and some internet. They removed the tree on my way here and the people are working on the power lines. Hopefully it will be up today. I'm heading to the gym from here. Luckily D10 I with her dad. OWW offered me anything I need! ExSil also offered me to come over which was nice.
Needless to say, the bad luck marches forward. If I don't laugh, I'll cry. So I am laughing and keeping my spirits up. D10 and I went and bought her a dress for her special event and we both got rband new sneakers, and I got some nice tops, because a little retail therapy was in order. I was supposed to be off on Monday, but I am going to work and saving my days for my procedure.
I am truly hoping for a better summer, one where I no longer limp, can straighten my leg and be active. My mood is definitely affected by my lack of ability for hardcore exercise, which is my stress reliever. I need my heart rate through the roof, I need to sweat, and I need to kick, punch and lift heavy things. Can't do any of that.
I am ging ot try to reschedule my trip for April. I will not get a flight nearly as cheap, but I will see what I can do for myself. I gotta get out of here before I explode!
POF guy invited me over tonight and he was going to make me dinner. I shouldn't take him up on his offer, its messed up when I am not interested in keeping this going, but maybe some company would be good. But that is selfish, I know.
On a totally different subject, I am noticing something. D10 doesn't tell her dad anything anymore. She relies on OWW. I used to tell exH details and he would tell OWW, but I realized they aren't even communicating anymore. So, I just got to a point where I communicate with her rather than him. It's ridiculous, but they really do not communicate so I am always worried if the message is getting across. I seriously think these two will be together forever, but the truth of the matter is, if she is ever gone and ex has not found a replacement, things would really be tough on D10. It's a hard thing to admit. She's gotta stick around until D10 is old enough.
Wow....that whole not having power thing [censored], especially when it is cold. As for POF guy, only you can decide what is best for you, but if you aren't interested, let him go. It is really not fair to either of you to keep something going. I get that he's had a run of bad luck and you don't want to pile on that (and I would SO totally feel the same way, which is further evidence to me that we are SO much alike), but you are doing both of you a disservice if you keep feigning interest just to keep from kicking him while he's down, so to speak. That is all just my opinion, of course, for whatever it is worth.
I kind of understand your situation about D10 and OWW from the other side of the equation, so to speak. I am the stepmom, not the mom and I didn't cheat with my XH. He had been divorced from his ex for sometime and had had other relationships before he and I got together, so it isn't like there is some cloud of suspicion over me or anything, but because mom flaked out and wasn't there for the girls when they were teens, I sometimes feel more protective of them and have a hard time watching them have a relationship with her now as adults. I know that sounds crazy, but it would make more sense with a lot of detail filled in. Anyway, I say all that to say that I know you have a hard time seeing D10 and OWW get close, but it really is a good thing. You don't have to like OWW (Lord knows I cannot stand my daugthers' mother), but you can be cordial, which by your own accounts, you seem to totally have a handle on. D10 will benefit in the long run. I can say that because my daughters are older than yours and as adults, I see how they have benefitted from the fact that from day 1 I have tried to be as cordial as possible to their mother and NOT take her place. I can't speak for OWW, but I always maintained that I wasn't trying to replace the girls' mom, but just give them another female to support them. The girls have always called me by my first name, never mom, but their own mother has recently suggested that they should be calling me mom because of all I have done for them. It's all about teamwork and putting the kids first, which you well know and seem to be doing. But, I know it is still tough, so hang in there.
I'm rambling and hogging your page, so with that, take care of yourself. Have a glass of wine or 10 and just chill. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to eventually.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Still without power, they are working on it, but the restoration date is 3/7 at 11:30 pm, but I hope they are overshooting it. I noreaster with a bunch of snow is coming in tomorrow, so they have to get it fixed. This is awful. I did stay with POF guy for the 2 nights. But man, I left this morning pretty settled he isn't for me. I'll be honest, I think I was in such a tizzy for the past few days, I stayed with him because it was better than house hopping and I just wanted someone there that way. ANd Dawn, I surprised him when However, I realize he attentive physical touch is pretty much gone. It's like he settled in ways already. He is pretty much an adult teenager with an ED problem and no job. Obsesed with his video games, no job, and TMI, but he has actually rolled over and picked up his phone and started playing games, if you know what I mean. This isn't for me. I have been waiting so long for the right one, and you all know I do not have unrealistic expectations, but I realize I really need a match.
I went ice skating yesterday with my bum knee! It was me, D10, exH, his BIL and child. I did pretty good! I was scared so I didn't do all I normally could do. ExH and I used to hold hands skating and we would go really fast and it would help me with my cross overs and turns. I almost asked if he could hold my hand so I could try it, but that would probably be a little awkward. D10's little cousin was so cute, she took my hand and we skated around. I should have been her aunt. But no, OWW gets that too. She is really comfortable with me though, because she knows I am D10's mom.
Surgery is for 3/29. COuld have gotten me in a week earlier, but I have plans for a girls weekend getaway, and I refuse to miss that. Another week is what it is.
D10 an dI will be staying at friend's house until the power goes back on. SHe did not want to stay with her dad, she wants to come home. I am grateful for a place to stay and all the offers we got.
But I am tired, and I do want to go home to my bed!
