Got the MONEY (the lump sum part, anyhow) from xh. Finally.
On Easter he texted out of the blue, without any intro. And nothing about Easter of course, not even my name or his.
He Asked for my account info, then a minute later he texted to ask whether I lived in X town or Y town (which would take him 5 seconds to remember) and then, incredibly, he texted that he was "on the phone with the bank now", meaning that I better hurry??? Because HE was in a hurry and although I had no warning and it was a holiday, so what?
HE wanted HIS task done then and there...so what if he's over 6 weeks LATE?? Um, don't confuse yourself asking if he apologized. That would be a big NO.
So on one hand it's a small but really clear, great example of his impatient entitlement, but OTOH, I am just glad that instead of waiting for other shoe to drop, I got the lump sum (partial payout in lieu of spousal support) We have other issues that could be messed up but SEEM on track and frankly, the most pressing matter was the lump sum for me.
OKAY I DID THINK ABOUT TEXTING HIM THE FOLLOWING:
XH, I MISS YOU AND WANT YOU BACK...
PS, APRIL FOOLS.
Come guys, that would have been hilarious. But I wanted the money even more than the laugh.
ANYHOW< I feel more relaxed and at ease. Also sort of bittersweet. But that's to be expected.
He doesn't own me anymore, if you know what I mean.
Will he soon marry OW? Probably.
Will he be happy THEN? Maybe but it's Not my concern. I don't buy the spin that this was about me.
I did not break him and I can't fix him. Maybe OW can...maybe he will have a character transplant. Maybe he'll become a unicorn.
Since the split I've worked VERY hard on me, very painfully, and now, regarding xh, I'm working on meh.
And I am zooming forward. Already out of debt, which is a good feeling I have not had since this divorce began.
I'm doing stand up comedy this month!! Yes I will dedicate it to him, but only give 30 seconds of my set his way. Nothing bitter.
That's all I have for now!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
That's good to hear you received the money!!! I thought most men don't marry their affair partners. If yours does then I'm curious to know how long it'll last. Good luck with your comedy endeavor!
... and currently 67% of second marriages end in D... and 74% of all third marriages end in D
Overall the odds of staying M to an A partner or otherwise aren't overally all that good.
I would think once I got to the point of letting a S go because of D I would try to think less about the S and how they carry on and really more about myself.
I could care less about my Ex and his W or their kids unless its something that directly relates specifically to our shared child. I've got better things to do and more important things to take care of!!!!!
