What the turnoff is, is that this guy has admittedly done nothing to help himself.
This. That would be a problem for me. And if he was diagnosed pre-diabetic in the past and hasn't been seeing a doctor, he may well have diabetes now which can result in ED (So can heart disease.)
This may sound awfully selfish, but you're a young woman who has gone with very little sex for a long time in the prime of your life. I don't think it's inappropriate to want a partner who can share that with you. Especially since this guy doesn't really fit you in a lot of other ways too.
At my age (61) I expect this to be more of an issue with men I date. And if I met a guy who was great for me in all other respects and this was the only issue, I could live with it. But it'd be a lot to give up. (Luckily for me, none of my suitors has had this problem. ) And it surely would have been a deal-breaker for me at your age.
I am appreciative of all the support. I seriously don't know what to do and I haven't made a decision and I guess I don't need to make one yet.
It really makes me nuts that this is due to his own neglect. I am a very understanding woman, but when you don't care about yourself enough to let your health go....... well, it's just sad.
My love life has really been cursed. My 30's are supposed to be my prime, I have been single for the most part, and it stinks.
I read sometimes over in the newcomers where they are just getting the D, disappear for a few months and come back with some wonderful man who loves them and their kids! I am so happy for these people, but sometimes I am like "WTF?!"
My love life has been jinxed. I think maybe I need to see a voodoo doctor.
We are having dinner tomorrow night, then I leave for FL on Friday and come back Monday. I need a weekend away to just have fun and clear my mind a bit.
Who is ready for another installation of "Is this really my F@cking life?"
I followed up with my surgeon and he has to go back into to my knee. He believes I have this hunk of scar tissue called a Cyclops lesion that is preventing full extension. He actually felt bad about it because he said it rarely ever happens to him and I said I felt like I failed him:( The highlight was when he walked in the room and he told me I looked good. He is pretty much the sexiest man alive. Seriously. So, I can't get to upset when he tells me things, especially since he is so sweet about it. It's a quick procedure, but it is 10 days locked in full extension 24/7 in my ACL brace. That's going to be really uncomfortable and hard to work in. But I want to be back at full capacity by summer.
I call to tell my dad and h starts yelling at me because I am still trying to go away even though there is some sort of noreaster coming. He wanted me to cancel my trip because he didn't want me driving to his house. I told him I am not cancelling and I will play by ear, he got very angry and pretty much hung up on me. My stepmother told me his fuse has been really short lately and he's been getting mad over everything. So, I got that going on.
Then I have date with this guy. he had just gotten fired from his job an hour before he got there. So now he has ED, has no job, is unhealthy and overweight, and has no medical insurance and told me we "can't go out too often". He said he would understand if I stopped seeing him right then and there. Of course I couldn't do that. His plan is to look for jobs, but for a month kind of keep a routine where he wakes up, plays video games, and then looks for jobs. I have a strong feeling that will be more like gain 100lbs by eating fast food and playing viedeo games all day.
A big difference in dating a non-parent at his age is that they usually aren't motivated. Life is different when you have kid and you are very busy.
I won't be able to see him for 2 weeks, so maybe it will give some time in between to just end this.
So, yeah, that's my last 24 hours. I am just praying I can get out of here and get to FL. I need it so bad.
So, I said no surgery this year. Guess I was wrong, hahaha!
I hope you enjoyed yet another installment of the joke that is my life (I mean that in a funny way).
So, hope you have fun in FL I would be heading down there myself this month, but skipping this trip since I am in the process of buying the house, it's great down there this time of year.
May I ask what your reasoning is for not just cutting ties with this guy? I struggled cutting ties with Witty because I felt bad for everything she was going through, felt bad that I would hurt her by ending contact, etc.. But in the end, I realized that she's not good for me, and it's not good for her to stick around for the wrong reasons.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
So sorry about your knee!! I didnt realize you were still lacking ROM. What a setback.
One of the things i wished i did when i was younger was to negotiate better for myself when it came to dating. To know that i dont owe anyone anything, and if things are not working out for me, then so long. Its ok to turn down a seemibgly nice guy cause he doesnt offer what you want.
It is very reasonable to want to start out with someone that has a job, and that can offer physical intimacy. You dont have to be nice all the time and put your needs last ginger. You owe him nothing.
Last year i dated someone that was nice, loved spending time and talking to me. But i found he was flaky and selfish and lazy and had an addictive personality. He was also cheap and had also lost his job after we were dating for a bit. He wanted me to do the bulk of the driving (prior to losing his job) He did not buy me a christmas gift. The last straw was when he picked out a place to go and then asked me to pay for it. And picked a place to stop for drinks amd asked me to pay.( I told him, no we will each pay our way. )
At the time, i was trying to proove that i wasnt the b... my ex made me out to be. So i kept telling myself, "gifts do not mean anything. Equal rights. Yeah sure i will drive. No problem etc" amd he would tell me how cool and easy going i was compared to other high maintenance women.
I wish i had called him out though. Told him, are you serious? If you want to date some one of my quality you need to be worthy, or else i will find someone else. I wish i knew my worth more. Amd noy to be conceited, i had more going for me then the other women that were making higher demands.
He got lucky and got me during a vulnerable time.
What im trying to say is put yourself first. Its ok.
That break sounds like a nice time to tell him to put things on hold while he gets his life together amd you heal. No point in dating whem he doeant have a job. Its not like he was a boyfriend or husband.
) And it surely would have been a deal-breaker for me at your age.