W just sent me an email telling me she has a conference call with an A this afternoon and asked me to send her the financial stuff we spoke about this weekend. It is not secretive information it just lists all of our assets and debt.
The funny thing is that I am so upbeat and cordial with her. I really feel at this point in time it is no big deal. I guess being separated for almost 8 months will do that to you. She told our family friend that our meeting on Saturday went really well. I don't know what she expects but she is getting nothing less from me than a strong confident man.
I am going to need a hail marry from Doug Flutie to pull this one out
Not much new to update. My W and I have had several conversations over the past few days on custody, finances, etc. and we agree on everything so hopefully this will be a smooth process. The financial piece of splitting 401 etc will sting a bit but the monthly amount that I will be paying her is far less than what I am doing know so I should come out way ahead financially each month.
On a personal level I am doing great. I am happy, feel good and am actually really looking forward to life after D. My girls are doing awesome, I have been to the gym every day this week and have volunteered to coach my oldest D's soccer team. I also make my coaching debut on Saturday, coaching my 6 yr old team.
Not much else to report but I will continue to update until the D is final. I have come along way in 7.5 months and it feels really good to be approaching the other side.
Thanks H U2....I saw what you wrote about your STBXW and man that is awful. I have no advice but it is hard to imagine that someone can be that angry. There are a few XW's on the board that are really off the rails and I don't understand. It's like what did you ever do to get her that mad?? U know??
Anyways, my just sent me an email that she got written up at work and side swiped another car and ripped the bumper off of ours. I feel bad for her, showed her some empathy and I told her to keep her chin up . Karma..........big daddy won't be around too much longer.
Thanks H U2....I saw what you wrote about your STBXW and man that is awful. I have no advice but it is hard to imagine that someone can be that angry. There are a few XW's on the board that are really off the rails and I don't understand. It's like what did you ever do to get her that mad?? U know??
I try not to think about my XW, but it's hard not to try to get to the bottom of her anger. I think it might be because the D took too long for her. Or she's not happy with what we agreed to in mediation (her L didn't prepare her). Or maybe OM is not looking so shiny right now. Or she is infuriated by the boundaries I'm setting.
Originally Posted By: Joseph9
Anyways, my just sent me an email that she got written up at work and side swiped another car and ripped the bumper off of ours. I feel bad for her, showed her some empathy and I told her to keep her chin up . Karma..........big daddy won't be around too much longer.
You handled that very well. Good job!
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
IMO you are past the worst part which is not knowing. As Txhubby put it "soul sucking limbo". You separated early and went N/C except for kids and finances which is why you are so detached.
Karma has it's way that's for sure. I can list about 10 things that hasn't gone my Ws way in the past month including breaking out with hives.
Ewww...the hives, maybe it is the stress of it all?? The funny thing is that once I was out of limbo my detachment levels went through the roof. I am sure my w has struggled more than I realize but since I don't see her much at all I don't have any insight.
I don't wish anything bad on my W and I really hope she finds her happiness. I just know it is going to come back and bite her at some point in time just by the way all of this went down.
I am really excited to have this behind me. We are meeting with a L next week to discuss moving forward since both of us are in agreement on everything. If that continues we may end up just hiring this person to file the paperwork. At minimum I may end up consulting with an A to ensure it all looks good.
Hey man! Looks like you can get through this part of the process fairly unscathed - well, as little unscathed one can.
Yeah, just put it behind you and see what's next. I mean you're in a D without the paperwork right now. This just corrects that and it's done with. I am glad to see your spirits are up and life will go on.
As you know not what I asked for nor wanted but I am determined to kick the $hit out of plan B. Life goes on, I am not the first person to ever get divorced and I certainly won’t be the last.
I think the hope you have tucked away deep down inside is what prevents you from fully detaching so once you know your path it is like the seas have parted.
Yeah I think you're right about the lil piece of hope. It has a good purpose when you're in this 'limbo' stage - where you have no idea what's going to happen. But, once the path seems to be set, it's good to let that hope go and get to that place of detachment.
I don't know how to explain it, but I can literally feel that detachment, whereas previously I was acting and trying to get detached.
I updated my thread last night, but I'll add some stuff soon. Not much has changed.
