I am so sorry to come here and read what you are dealing with today. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, especially your son. I do hope that you can get him into a facility and hopefully get his the help he needs.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My heart goes out to you and your son. Addiction is a cruel disease. Blue light forums offers a lot of insight but can be very gritty and like any forum the people that post all have different opinions and experiences and goals. (I believe I am allowed to post this as it is not competing with a divorce forum).
You're son is lucky to have a proactive and intelligent fighter on his side. There are success stories and you and your son are in my prayers.
KML I just now happened to see your NYE post. Actually I just caught up with this latest thread - including your guy who you had such a great time with. In many ways I'm like him - different but the same, if that makes sense. I just can't seem to find a partner like you - at least that includes the great sex - many times any sex.
Anyhow, that's all just an aside. it was the post about your son that caught my attention. There is no way you can know the full scope of what you are in for. It's one if those things that people only fully understand after going through it. This epidemic is killing over 100 people in the USA every day - 63,000 in 2016 alone. This is where my passion has landed, following my own struggle with opioids - not heroin but still.ma struggle that finally ended 8 years ago.
I am more than willing to offer my time to you if you'd like it. Sadly getting the person/your son to even agree to treatment is only the first step. So many treatments don't work 90% of the time. Even with costs of $40,000 and more a month they often fail. I don't want to scare you, just offer my help, support or just an ear or sounding board. Ginger knows how to get in touch with me and I think Job does as well. Either have my permission to provide you with my contact info if you would like it. I do public speaking about this as well as maintain a website and social media on it.
My heart goes out to you. You are correct in how this may push you to your core. Feel free to reach out if you would like to.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Yes I'm well aware of the cost and dismal statistics. It's moot right now as son is refusing inpatient treatment but luckily I had paid to COBRA his father's insurance for him (he just turned 26) and it includes an extra rider that would cover treatment outside of our HMO for mental health. That way if he does reach the point where he's willing and needs inpatient, he could go someplace good.
He's been doing an amateur suboxone taper (long story - his girlfriend who just went through a suboxone taper gave him a few. He didn't taper them as he was expecting to transition straight to suboxone maintenance only to find out our HMO apparently won't give you suboxone maintenance if you smoke pot?? So he had to do a really short taper, last 1/4 dose was yesterday, should be starting to feel bad today. We do have clonidine and other meds to make him comfortable through withdrawal.
My biggest concerns are finding ways to treat his underlying severe depression - he refuses antidepressants and hasn't done well on them in the past. I know his mood will improve once he's been clean for a while but his addict brain tells him he will always be depressed and life will be terrible without drugs. He's also pretty resistant to recovery groups (he went to his first one last night but sounds like he didn't participate much - he feels like he doesn't have things in common with them and his own sober friends are more of a help - again, typical addict thinking that he's "special".)
I'm working hard to get him to eat healthy food and filling him with supplements to help his brain. Once he's through withdrawal I'll get him out exercising. If he can't stay sober after detox I do have a private option to refer him for suboxone maintenance but would have to pay out of pocket for the meds.
Last edited by job; 01/12/1806:41 AM. Reason: added spaces between paragraphs
I just saw this too, ellie. I am so sorry your family is going through this right now. I have seen Suboxone to be pretty successful, and I had a patient who was on a maintainence dose and he said it really was a life saver. He had no other underlying issues, he just became addicted to opioids when he hurt his back on the job.
The underlying issue for your son is depression, and that really is going to need to be managed. Would he consider inpatient treatment to find the right AD's?
I hope you can achieve all as naturally as possible for him. Thankfully, he has you for a mom!
Thanks Doodler - I had looked into Ibogaine (ayahuasca) but there have been cardiac deaths with that. Was not aware of the lsd research but it would certainly be safer. My son is very much a skeptic so might be less suggestible which seems to be an important part of recovery through hallucinogens.
As for his depression, he hasn't done well on antidepressants in the past and has a genotype which is much less likely to respond to a wide array of antidepressants including paxil, celexa , Effexor and tricyclics. It's possible that an antidepressant outside those classes could help but he's resistant because he had a horrible withdrawal syndrome from Effexor. He has a double mutation in the enzyme that converts tryptophan to 5-htp which is the precursor for serotonin so I am giving him 5- htp and high dose methylfolate. Vitamin D, probiotics and an array of other supplements. Once he's feeling physically better I need to get him to exercise.
I'll swear on a stack of bibles, I was not looking for this; I was doing a little surfing and came across a good video. Go to YouTube and search for "Tim Ferris - My Thoughts on Psychedelic Drugs to Treat Depression." It's a short video and has some good information.
KML I can tell just by what you wrote you are well ahead of the curve when it comes to understanding most of this - well ahead.
Medication assisted treatment is by far the best option we currently have. Buprenorphine (Suboxone) often works very very well - most studies showing 50% one year success. The thing is, a quick taper will nearly always end in relapse. He needs to be on it at least for a year.
Dual diagnosis is often a common component as well. Depression, abuse, trauma all fall in this history. It's likely he has been self medicating his depression. Without addressing the depression he again has greatly reduced chances. Stopping opioids will really increase thus depression.
Some good news, in patient has not been shown superior over outpatient. It really has not. So that's not a deal breaker here. Compared to his quick taper it's hardly a blip.
Clonidine works for many people. If you can get it, Gabapentin and Vistaril are the other two mainstay comfort meds. Together they will help but honestly if he is not going to get treatment I'd rather see him use. I really would. The chance of overdose death skyrockets about 7 to 60 days post detox. If nothing else, drill it into him that if he relapses he will have lost his tolerance and his old dose could kill him. It's scary stuff. Detox without treatment kills many.
I would strongly advise against Krantom. Strongly. It's a ruse. Don't don't. As for lsd I've not heard of using that. Not knowing more I'd also strongly go against that just on common sense but while I have stats and research to back everything else I've said I do not on LSD
it's not uncommon for insurance to refuse to pay for suboxone if he's using other drugs including pot. While there are some legit reasons it's mostly an affront to get out if paying. Many doctors overlook pot for awhile.
What about Vivatrol (naltrexone) injection. Will insurance cover that? It's around $1,500 for a 30'day shot. At this point keeping him alive is job one.
And then a GF who uses. Man what else? He's not alone but he is very very sick and part of this epidemic that is killing people under 50 more than anything else. Drug overdose is now the leading cause of death for under 50.
Again you sound like you are on top of much of this. Feel free to reach out if I can help more.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
