Dearest Andrew, I can only imagine the sadness, but I do believe the healing will really begin now. You are such a lovely man and deserve an equally lovely lady who will cherish all of your special qualities. In the meantime, process the pain and enjoy this time to yourself. I don't think it will be that long-lived.
I'm sorry to read this Andrew and my thoughts are with you. It is a sad day to receive those papers when this wasn't the path you chose to take.
I recall that day was a really sad one for me. Then I recall feeling relieved that I wasn't waiting any more for those papers. I had been watching the mailbox but mine came by email too..
As LT says, this is another bend in the road and there is a journey to be taken yet, but we'll be walking right along with you.
In my situation, once the divorce did finalise (whilst sad) it was a relief to no longer be married to someone else's boyfriend and it did help me move forward a lot. I was happy to be mistress of my own destiny again and have financial freedom without the weight hanging over me.
So, sadness and progress too....xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I am in lost of words to explain how i feel.. with mlc, this is a milestone in the journey.
For me, the D was just papers.. The way i was treated was what mattered. Ex- h shared with me, a year after it was all done, that this was not what he wanted and those papers were burnt by him. He had no clue what was on them. At the time, he wanted out quickly for his little lady but was crushed with going through with it. He has never shown with actions that he wanted to fix things. To this day, he shows kindnest from time to time but no consistancy. Always OWs.
If you feel yourself wavering in the past, look at "what is" in the present time. It will reassure you that this is the right thing to do. Cherish the good memories and set your goal to create more.
Your new chapter: You can finally check that lottery ticket of yours! Good luck!!
Bttrfly - that was just - just - beautiful. Thank you so much.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
You seem like such a great guy. I am sad to read about your D and it's finalization and hoping you get a sense of closure. Happy New Year.
BD#1: "marriage is over" 9/14/2016 H in basement 24/7 with EX/OM BD#2: 3/20/2017 I plan to move out "soon" I LRT me: 42, H, 41, EX/OM, 37 D 10, Son 7 M to H = 20 years EX/OM moved in 10 years ago
Thanks for the visit Surv1ve and thanks very much for the hug Coly.
Coly I hope you are doing well. I know you don't feel much like writing these days which I can absolutely understand.
I had a bit of a difficult time yesterday. I came across a heart scrawled on the wall of the basement from probably 20 years ago that my ex left there. I took the paint scraper to it and then had a bit of a sad time while I did the dishes. That is one of the problems with staying in the house. It's pretty rare now though that I run into anything that triggers me.
Sometimes I think it would be easier if I hated her but I can't do that. I'm angry and hurt but that's fading. I don't feel much love for her but I do still from time to time feel the loss of what I thought I had.
I got a note from the old friend that introduced my ex and I about something else. He's still in some contact with her and he mentioned that he doesn't think that things will work out for her in the long term but that I need to focus on myself but to not rush into anything new. SIL1 says that my ex continues her silence on social media. I fully expect that she and her guy will go on another fancy trip soon but not down to see her daughter. I have my own trip to Virginia to see my D and her H booked now for my birthday again in March. It's becoming a nice tradition.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
AP—bro hug! This is one of the reasons why I don’t want the house. I don’t feel I could make my peace there. Awesome news about your upcoming birthday trip to see your D.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Seems she has a lot of guilt and can't face your daughter or something. I know you've written before about how long its been. My daughter is 17 and can be a pill, but I can't imagine letting more than months go by without seeing her (she's in college now across the country). I sadly confess to a little delight in hearing from her today about a minor emergency, and the reminder that she still needs her mom to help her navigate sometimes. But lucky for her she has you on her side.
