Things have been going good. We seem to be talking more and more signs of affection from my W. Yesterday was a big test we were invited out as a couple to a cards and wine night i gave her the invitation and let her decided if we were going or not. She wanted to go even though it was our church group and everyone knows we are seperated.
It waz a good night. Lots of laughs and our good bye in the parking lot was again emotional on her part she hugged and held me for a extended time and thanked me for a good evening.
I had to work today but we have been intouch by phone and she is planing on having a family day tomorrow.
QUESTION:
Has anyone been a part of a couples course like retrovi and the one put on by Marriage helpers? Marriage 911
I only ask this because im looking for something that my w and i can do together to help rebuild our communication and intimacy.
Our contact continues to improve. Kids started counciling and even there relationship with there mother has improved greatly. The family day i mentioned was great. We talk everyday and most days we see each other. My wife now talks about things getting better and is very thankful to me about everything.
I will ask my question again.
Can anyone give some insite on retrovi or the 3 day marriage help work shop.
I hope to continue with the positive direction we are going.
My w has started to plan activities and even small 2 day trips. She still lives at her mothers but is spending more time with me and the kids. I know slow and steady wins the race. She seems so much happier and less tired. So do I just continue as is or let her know she is welcome to come home. When she left a told her the door was open for her to return. I have not actually invited her back since than.
My Gal activities continue, she shows interest in my plans and asks about my day on a regular basis now..
I don’t know I am more nervous about upcoming weekend away even though it is is all planned by her.
I have not done Retrouville, but on this board have heard many great things about it. It is more than a weekend, there are multiple follow-up days after the first weekend. You should not go unless the W is fully committed to doing it.
I went to Retrouvialle and my experience was rare in that it was a disaster. My problem is WH was not really engaged to save our marriage and refused to participate half way through. We almost left early but one of the host pairs convinced us to stay. WH refused to do the follow up appointments (6 Sundays of more workshops) and I attended half of them alone (it was humiliating though the other couples praised me for my determination) and felt it would have been great if WH would have just done the work. If you and your wife are getting better then I would hold off for a bit. Keep doing what works!
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
During our 25+ years of marriage we have over come some very hard and sad situations. I reminded her of this and then proceeded to tell her that I know that with out a doubt we could have a life without each other. I continue by letting her know my choice to stand and fight for our marriage was my choice. It is not a matter of winning or showing you I’m right. I’m here with you because I want to be and it is your choice to be out of our home and I will support you where I can as long as we are honest to one another.
Although this post was last month, I want to respond to it. As I've tried to point out previously, these type of talks pushes her. It is a lot of emotional pressure for someone in your W's condition.
Like so many LBH's, you want to fix the situation, and in your eyes that means you need to be doing "the next step". The next step is to stop having these type of talks. You need to allow her to come to you with her concerns. But if you take this stuff to her, you are taking a big risk of setting things back. Also, she needs to work through her issues with being with her children full time, before putting them through that experience again.
Quote:
I will ask my question again.
Can anyone give some insite on retrovi or the 3 day marriage help work shop.
I have no personal experience. There use to be talk about it on the board, but I haven't heard much in a while. 25YRSMLC used to encourage people to attend. I have seen her write that both spouses need to be willing, and I think she said that if there was an affair that they would not sign you up. You can ask her. I've heard that their sessions are very intense, and they also have follow up sessions.
Quote:
What do I do just follow her lead?
As long as you are seeing positive results, I would say it is the correct move.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Contact seemz to be getting better. We are doing more as a family my w actively talks about future things and even smiles and laughs more. I guess if i had to give it a name im in the friend zone.
I consider this a vast improvement. W is starting to be social again and even joking around in groups.
There has been no talk of her coming home or any relationship discussions.
QUESTION
Anniversary is coming up w has exprezsed interest in a dinner out im just wondering if i should give a gift or stick to a card
