She’s been blowing me up about divorce now. Going form she’ll take the kids and make me a summer dad to I get the kids and she rolls. She is all over the place right now. It’s insane! Blaming me for everything, I just ended up ignoring the thread. She made it clear what she wants so she can have it. I deserve better and i know it’s out there. She is spiraling deeper and deeper today. She said she just wants out. I’ve done all I can or really care to do at this point. Now it’s anoit moving forward and giving the kids the best life I can. Mom is grown and can fend for herself. Maybe one day, just not this day.
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
GW, I know it seems like it's been forever but you're only 6 months post BD and that is a really short time frame. Most of us don't start feeling normal again and in full control of our feelings until at least a year after BD. Don't make any hasty decisions. Just take a deep breath and relax and focus on you and your kids. Let your W do all the ranting and raving she wants, that's outside your sphere of control. Just try to be zen about it and think of her as a distraction that you're not going to let sway you from your path of being awesome.
Eventually if you go down the path of S and D then at some point you will have to face the reality of someone else buying gifts for your kids and going and doing stuff with them and your W. Just keep in mind that YOU are dad to your kids, not OM. W can throw OM at them as much as she wants but they know who dad is. My kids were 10, 16 and 18 when BD went down. At that age it's difficult, but I am very thankful they weren't so young that they might be confused over who dad is or why they have two dads or whatever. I think it's the same for your kids, they are old enough to know who dad is and you will always be dad. So don't worry about OM, he can't dethrone you. Especially if you keep focusing on your relationship with them.
At the end of an earlier post you said "I think". You were referencing you were done. Are you done or are you not. Its ok to not know.
Man, I'm going to be honest, your WW makes me mad. I just want to throw stuff at the wall after reading what she does.
Man you need to walk in your house and tell her to get the F out. If she leaves you dont care. You need to out her stuff on the front lawn. If she moves it back in who cares. She needs to see you are done. Please get your respect back. She needs to see you are not playing. The you don't want to be around her no more face. Tell her if she wants out you are stopping her and she need to see you as a life line is now dead.
Tell her to get out. She leaves who care, but she needs to hear you saying it.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
jo joe i have told her to leave, as late as today. she will not go anywhere without the kids and i will not allow her to take them to stay with him. out of the question. she could not understand why i was so mad over this jackazz buying my son a gift, she said she was tired of me telling her things were disrespectful. like me not allowing her to call him in the house, or him buying a toy for my kid, or her using a damn dildo thinking of him. i drew the line. i am not playing these mess around games any more. if she wants to go the door is open, but i will not tolerate this shoot any more. |During the day she went from i want a divorce and ill take the kids to youll be a summer dad, youre punishing me for loving someone else by not letting the kids go, to you win, youll get the kids and ill move on. ||She acted like she was in a panic all day. all this over a toy. then the blame game began. its all my fault, shell never work onus blah blahblah. this was all unsolicited texts. I almost believed they had broken up, because the calls and facetime are non existant, however she is active on messenger, but today made me think they either went underground for no apparent reason or they did and OM2 is on deck. She went as far as to say that since i was investigating things - the toy- she might need to investigate who i spend my time texting. its a buddy from work and a friend in florida. blame game. i am not sure where im at in totality, today just put me in a whatever, take off chick mindframe. im just tired of all of this right now. very tired. mentally and emotionally exhausted.
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
One of the best things about not having my W in the home is constantly explaining how her actions are disrespectful. As if after years of MR and just being a human being. These WS suddenly have no clue that their actions are disrespectful. Even though they are sneaking around doing these things. Don't give your W an inch, regardless how much much she tries to give you the guilt trip.
You can't control her leaving but you can show her you eant her out. My point was tell her you want her A$$ out of the house. She leaves good, she don't oh well.
Next take her things and put them on the lawn, if she wants to stay let her carry them back in.
Yo, yo, yo, pls stop letting her say things like you not letting play with myself with the OM in the house you two are living is you holding her back. If I was you, I would throw them in a trash can. She has no respect for you at the moment. Take your dignity and respect back. Why do you care, if she cares who you are talking too. Stop telling her who you are talking to. Let her wonder. Make yourself mysterious.
Last edited by Cadet; 12/14/1707:56 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
