hahahahahha yeahh!!! This might be the premise of my forthcoming romance revenge novel.
But yeah, I can taste the bitterness and I will have to let it go, but right now the anger and bitterness can be channeled positively into my own revenge fantasy. And then as MC Hammer says - can't touch this. lol.
A friend sent me a very interesting perspective on rejection: the WW/WH didn't reject the LBS, but rejected the option of having the willingness to work on the MR. I find that kinda soothing right now.
But yeah, I can taste the bitterness and I will have to let it go, but right now the anger and bitterness can be channeled positively into my own revenge fantasy. And then as MC Hammer says - can't touch this. lol.
Well....hopefully you don't put on the parachute pants!
For me the anger and bitterness is a slow burn. 6 months ago I felt like an erupting Volcano with the lava being my emotions and spewing everywhere. Now I feel more dormant with the lava still burning deep down in side but is no longer erupting.
We will do presents in the morning and then I will take them to my moms and she will take them to her parents later in the day.
Yes, I will get her something from the kids.
No, I have been to advised to hold off until she is ready to move out.
On Saturday she asked me if she could have more time living at home so she doesn't force herself into buying a house she doesn't end up liking. I told her I would think about it and let he know after Christmas.
Cool, thanks. Something from the kids is a good plan.
Interesting she asked that question.......I guess maybe a money thing why she wasn't ready or doesn't have a place lined up??? I guess renting for 6 months is out of the question just to get her feet on solid ground?
Interesting she asked that question.......I guess maybe a money thing why she wasn't ready or doesn't have a place lined up???
She wants to buy a house and not rent. She is very picky about houses. AT first I said NFW. The only reason I am considering it is because I don't want to have my kids move twice (in apt and then house) within 6 months.
Either way I think it's time for her to make a choice and I have been thinking about this for a month or so. I know she has experienced loss but even with me not pursuing I think the only real loss she has not felt is me. No matter how dark, dim, not pursuing etc. I don't think it has mattered. We say the sitch's are all the same but the players are different with different dynamics in the R's. I always kind of thought that the only real time she would feel loss is if I approached her and started moving the D process along myself. IMO it would be something she never would expect me to do.
At the end of the day I think she is hurt, scared, depressed and if totally confident she would have already filed. She tells me she is ready to move forward with mediation then in the same token says she is stressed and tired. I respond and get nothing??? BS if you are that confident make it happen don't reach out and then you never follow through. It's not about the money, I don't buy that BS. She had contacted a L right before she moved out and was ready to start the paperwork but said she couldn't do it because of our kids. Telling our friends she is going to sell her engagement ring because she won't wear it again and needs the money is BS IMO I don't buy it and also telling them there is never a good time since the kids are around is also BS. She had no problems calling our friend to get them to watch our girls to have the "move out" discussion or see if they can babysit for an evening but when it comes to this there is never a good time because they are always around???? B.S. I think in the back of her mind she knows me and knows that I will always be there for her. I don't think any amount of DBing was going to change that. Maybe I was too easy on her. I could be wrong but these are my thoughts.
My girls are adjusted, seem really happy so outside of me being around all the time I think they are in a really good place. I don't know of OM and if there was/is it has been almost 7 months of her having fun and it's time for me to see where she is at. If she tells me her thoughts have not changed then we will move forward with the D process.
Lots of guessing what she may want. What do you want? What is in your control? A lot of the walkawys say they want D but they also want the LBS spouse to do the actual legal and financial work.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
G...I don't want a D but I am not scared by it either. The only thing I can control is myself, my actions.
The thought of her wanting me to do the work has crossed my mind and I guess if I did I could be giving her what she wanted.
I guess it's the limbo thing that really stinks, I know you need to GAL more etc, but it seems like it is still in the back of your head. Not a burning pain but a dull, nagging type of pain.
