Gordie: waiting for MLC W to sign the D papers

[bttrfly]

now not know. Sorry. It's 5am here. no coffee yet.

[Vapo]

Gordie,

I would say the h@ll with it and throw caution to the wind and call her out on it. If you can do it without expectations, that would be totally awesome. In light of the fact that she said that she misses you, I'd say, prove it. Call her bluff on it. Take your balls back. In a manner of speaking I'd say it's time to $hit or get off the pot.

Sorry for the crude language, but you get the gist of it, I am sure...

[Ginger1]

Gordie,

It is difficult to see from the inside, especially when you want this all to end, but here is how it looks from the outside.

She feels like you are taking away her cake. Her "I miss you's" right now are because she fears she is going to lose her lovely family life and her other life with her OM. She has it so made right now and when she feels as if she is losing one part of this equation, she knows how to reel you back in.

Has her actions indicated she misses you or wants you back? Has she decided to end her affair?

I would keep going as you are. Let her feel it. And even if she did dump OM, I would hope you would need to see a nice length of serious change before even considering taking her back.

She's been messing with your head majorly to get what she wants.

Just ignore her and keep on keeping on.

[job]

Gordie,

You've been given a lot of great advice. What is going on is the distance/pursuer dance. You pull away and yes, taking away her cake and ice cream...and now she's trying to reel you back in.

As Ginger pointed out, she messing with your head...but she is also messing with your heart and she knows that you still love her.

She is going to try every way to get you reeled back in because she's got the best of both worlds right now and she sure doesn't want to lose either one of them. When she realized that you aren't going to be reeled back in, you may see some ugliness come out to play. Ignore her and her behavior...keep moving forward for you and your children.

[CaliGuy]

Gordie

Everyone is spot on here. I wish I could tell you how many times the "I miss you" set me back, I felt like it was a horror movie where the person was possessed by some dark force/demon and that "I miss you" for me was a secret sign she was still in there reaching out telling me to save/fix her. Sadly enough of those and you learn actions seldom mirror those words ... she would text me as she was on her way out with OM.

Currently in her head you are the LR in the LRT. She knows at this moment that she 'deserves this' and if it doesnt work out she is free to say an I'm sorry and come back to you or maybe go find an OM3. They just do not see the damage done and from all the accounts I have experienced they just dont for a long time if they ever bother to see it at all .. truth is its painful to wake up and realize how you have destroyed several people with your selfish actions.

So, keep strong for now, its the Holidays and it simply just stinks ... that's the truth. Stinks for you, stinks for your kids, stinks for her but she is to distracted with all those drug induced fantasies and sensations. Its time for you to look inward and decide how you want life to be from this point out. I recently read a blip of someone who had gone through all this and he compared it to a CTR-ALT-DEL episode, all the sudden out of no where your life is reset, you did not want it nor ask for is and you lost a good deal of work .... you have the chance to make that work better now.

[Gordie]

As hard as it is, and it is so hard, uncurl those fingers, let go. Take the leap of faith and accept that the unknown without her is better than life with a present day cake-eating cheater who not only eats the cake, but rubs it all over your face in the process.

OMG. I need a full size poster of this!!!

[Gordie]

Gordie,

I would say the h@ll with it and throw caution to the wind and call her out on it. If you can do it without expectations, that would be totally awesome. In light of the fact that she said that she misses you, I'd say, prove it. Call her bluff on it. Take your balls back. In a manner of speaking I'd say it's time to $hit or get off the pot.

Sorry for the crude language, but you get the gist of it, I am sure...

V—I’ve been tempted but I know in my heart her words are worth nothing...her actions tell me all I need to know...she is much more invested in OM2 at present and she can shove her “I miss you” you know where...

[Gordie]

Has her actions indicated she misses you or wants you back? Has she decided to end her affair? I would keep going as you are. Let her feel it. And even if she did dump OM, I would hope you would need to see a nice length of serious change before even considering taking her back. She's been messing with your head majorly to get what she wants. Just ignore her and keep on keeping on.

I think you are absolutely right. I have been a full service bakery with unlimited cake. And yes, if she dumps OM2 tomorrow—which I am not expecting—yes, a lot of time and work would be needed before R. Ginger, I feel like you always know what’s going on in a way that I can’t see so as always, thank you.

[Gordie]

As Ginger pointed out, she messing with your head...but she is also messing with your heart and she knows that you still love her. She is going to try every way to get you reeled back in because she's got the best of both worlds right now and she sure doesn't want to lose either one of them. When she realized that you aren't going to be reeled back in, you may see some ugliness come out to play. Ignore her and her behavior...keep moving forward for you and your children.

Job, thank you for the advice and warning. I have seen the ugliness before and yes, may well see it again. She still wants us to be BFFs and I haven’t been cooperating. My words haven’t been received but I think my actions are starting to be noted. But you are right, she does know I still love her and I do find it hard to ignore her.

[Gordie]

Gordie

Everyone is spot on here. I wish I could tell you how many times the "I miss you" set me back, I felt like it was a horror movie where the person was possessed by some dark force/demon and that "I miss you" for me was a secret sign she was still in there reaching out telling me to save/fix her. Sadly enough of those and you learn actions seldom mirror those words ... she would text me as she was on her way out with OM.

Currently in her head you are the LR in the LRT. She knows at this moment that she 'deserves this' and if it doesnt work out she is free to say an I'm sorry and come back to you or maybe go find an OM3. They just do not see the damage done and from all the accounts I have experienced they just dont for a long time if they ever bother to see it at all .. truth is its painful to wake up and realize how you have destroyed several people with your selfish actions.

So, keep strong for now, its the Holidays and it simply just stinks ... that's the truth. Stinks for you, stinks for your kids, stinks for her but she is to distracted with all those drug induced fantasies and sensations. Its time for you to look inward and decide how you want life to be from this point out. I recently read a blip of someone who had gone through all this and he compared it to a CTR-ALT-DEL episode, all the sudden out of no where your life is reset, you did not want it nor ask for is and you lost a good deal of work .... you have the chance to make that work better now.

Cali, wow. Amazing—are we trapped in the same horror movie? Like job said, she knows I still live her and she knows what words to use that push my buttons and...yes, try and reel me back in. But with all of your support, I’m sick and tired of playing her game.