Swoop....getting out and exercising/going to the gym has really helped me. It's hard to feel down when your body is releasing endorphins. Exercising will also help with your self-esteem as well.
That's one thing I have not been doing, working. With this being my off season, there hasn't been anything pressing, so I haven't been putting in hardly ANY work days. I'm going to get moving tomorrow and change that. That is probably holding me back considerably. Thank you for all the input and support. I'll get there. It's the the roller coaster, right?
Well, I have put in some work, and got in a couple light workouts too. Baby steps I guess, but I'm slowly getting there. I had a weekend with GAL activities, and I enjoyed my time out. I'm still having thoughts of SO pretty often, but I'm sure that will begin to fade as time goes on. I am still really struggling with the feeling of loneliness, and I don't know how to get passed that. I'm finding myself CONSTANTLY checking facebook, or reaching out to anyone, just to fill my emptiness. I want so badly to just have companionship. That's currently my biggest struggle. I just feel so alone, all the time, no matter what I'm doing or who I'm with.
Yesterday was an interesting day. I was wrecked with those deep, center of my heart pains, that just flood over me. I don't have much explanation for them, not really sure what the trigger was, but on several occasions throughout the day, I experienced that overwhelming feeling of loss and hurt, almost like the day of BD. .......Im hoping that isn't going to be a recurring emotion. My day was extremely emotional and anxious because of if.
I'm sorry yesterday was rough for you. All of your symptoms point to lack of adequate GAL. Get out and do something you wouldn't normally do. Maybe borrow some kid's tricycle and ride it around the block. Or, go apply for a job as a waiter at Hooters (knowing you won't get the job). Push the limits of good taste just a little.
If you really want to get funky, google Tim Ferriss and check out some of the crazy stuff he does. And, listen to his TED Talk about how close he came to committing suicide.
You're most likely right. My GAL activities, as much as I have been trying to stack them up, have left me feeling unfulfilled. I need to find my niche. I'm trying
I googled Tim Ferris, pretty interesting stuff. Thank you for the suggestion!
I have my IC session today. I feel like I've gone over all I can, and I'm just sharing my weekly activities with him, and there isn't much he's giving me back, other than a thoughtful ear to listen. I'm beginning to become discouraged with that. I feel like I know what's needed, and that's time. After the smoke and emotions clear, I will move on and start looking for my match. I'm sure she's out there for me somewhere.
At my IC session, we discussed forgiveness, and how it's a choice. I have struggled back and forth with forgiving, and bitterness. I didn't really think about forgiveness as a choice, but rather I thought it was something that just had to come naturally or with time. He explained to me that forgiving EX will help me move forward with life, but it has to come after I have processed all of my emotions of the breakup and made the conscious choice to forgive. I feel that I am at that point now. I do want to forgive. I want to set myself free. I would love to hear thoughts about this.....
In my opinion, forgiveness is overrated. It's much like detachment. Everyone says, "I'm detaching," but the act of stating that you're detaching means that you're actively thinking about detaching, thus making it harder to detach. I think forgiveness is similar; if you're focused on consciously forgiving, then it just makes it harder to forgive.
Another way to look at it is that forgiveness (or detachment) is really a byproduct or side effect of building a wonderful life for yourself. When you focus on having a great life, forgiveness and detachment don't matter, it just happens.
So you can see where this is going; I believe building a great life for yourself is far more important than forgiveness. If you can't see how you could possibly build a great life for yourself, then you may want to be treated for depression.
