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Hey Swoop, sounds like you are doing as well as can be expected, and I'm sure you'll keep getting better from here! Keep up the good work!

Originally Posted By: swoop
I keep having hiccups along the way , reflecting on thoughts that I should put out of my mind, and engaging in situations that I probably should avoid. But, I have to keep reminding myself that this is a process , and that I need to be kind to myself and others. Once it is all over, I will have done some things that were right, and I will have made some mistakes. I'm hopeful that all of it will help me grow into a better person in the end. My life is moving forward.


Well said and that's an excellent perspective to keep throughout!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Thank you AS.

I feel like I have learned so much and have grown a lot since the breakup of my first marriage. I'm struggling through this breakup, but I am handling it considerably better, both mentally and emotionally. I owe a ton of that to everyone here, that have helped me look inwards instead of outwards.

Halloween was GREAT. My daughter and I dressed up, and looked absolutely amazing. We did a couple hours making the rounds with a group of our friends. I only have a year or two of the fun kid stuff left, and I plan on taking full advantage of being active in it.....day by day


Me:46 Her:38
My D: 11
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Nice work swoop....it sounds like you are starting to turn the corner and become swoopy p! Continue to look inward at yourself, increase your self confidence and determine your value as a man. You don't need anyone else to validate your self-worth. As LH would say....

Keep on keeping on!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
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It's funny you say that. My love language is words of affirmation. I thrive on validation, so that's an adjustment that I need to learn. Self validation.


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Originally Posted By: swoop
Self validation.


Is that like when you wink at yourself in the mirror and say, "Was that as good for you as it was for me?"

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Damn Doodler...lol


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Originally Posted By: Tread
Damn Doodler...lol


Sorry, I have poor impulse control.

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The last few days have been a little rough. I've been dumping myself and D into GAL activities, but the reality of life being something that I dont enjoy, has become brutally clear. I hate the single life, having no one for company, emotional support, intimacy, just having my person to go grocery shopping or do family activities with. It's sobering, and it's very discouraging for me. Any suggestions on how to move past those feelings?


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Originally Posted By: swoop
The last few days have been a little rough.


swoop,

Sorry! I hope you're doing better.

The one thing that consistently worked for me was to get out and move around. It could be walking the dog or painting the house. As soon as I started moving around, and focusing on the task at hand, I'd feel better.

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Originally Posted By: swoop
The last few days have been a little rough. I've been dumping myself and D into GAL activities, but the reality of life being something that I dont enjoy, has become brutally clear. I hate the single life, having no one for company, emotional support, intimacy, just having my person to go grocery shopping or do family activities with. It's sobering, and it's very discouraging for me. Any suggestions on how to move past those feelings?


Most of all, be patient and give yourself time. It takes a while. Keeping yourself busy is key though. Restart an old hobby or start a new one. It won't be fun at first, but eventually you'll find yourself enjoying it despite your sitch. Get out and exercise. Reconnect with old friends. Try and make some new friends. I highly recommend trying Crossfit, it's a great way to get in shape but it's also far more social than any other fitness program I've tried. And there are more women in xfit than men.

You have to force yourself to do all of these things at first. You'll think of a million reasons to stay home and be miserable. But make yourself do them. Each day it gets easier until eventually you're just your old self again.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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