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A city full of men and W decided to pursue this guy. This guy isn't even a stud. Just an overweight guy who is cool. Its like she wants to push the limits to see if I will turn back into that early 20 something.

OR she likes that you are still so enmeshed in what she is doing. You are spinning inside, and planning to confirm to her that you are so Not detached.

Her behavior sounds like it's out of high school, or from a very wounded position. No, I'm not blaming you. I'm merely observing how odd it is for a woman her age (or any recently sep woman)

to pursue a guy her h works with, and somehow do it in a way her h is sure to learn of.

You don't see that as something to detach from or ignore?



M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Kaizen,

One of my goals was this organization. Now W is pulling this mess. I would live to ignore her. But her a** keeps popping up and doing this nonsense. It's like walking away from the bully, but the bully keep a following provoking you.


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25,

I hear what your saying. But ignoring the problem does not make the feelings go away. Yoir basically holding it all in, while people are laughing behind yiur back and smiling in your face. And that is if something is happening.


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Tread, unless you were a pompous ass who mocked people whose spouses cheated on them, no one worth the time of day is going to be laughing at you because of your wife's behavior.

Your wife is behaving horribly, but her behavior is not a reflection on you, and it's not something you can control.

You're separated, so it's not as if people think you are being tricked.

The attitude you need to channel is "Frankly, I don't give a damn."

Go be the best Tread you can be. Until she shows signs of wanting to come back, her behavior is nothing to do with you.


Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
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Originally Posted By: Rose888
Tread, unless you were a pompous ass who mocked people whose spouses cheated on them, no one worth the time of day is going to be laughing at you because of your wife's behavior.

Your wife is behaving horribly, but her behavior is not a reflection on you, and it's not something you can control.

You're separated, so it's not as if people think you are being tricked.

The attitude you need to channel is "Frankly, I don't give a damn."

Go be the best Tread you can be. Until she shows signs of wanting to come back, her behavior is nothing to do with you.




THIS^^^. No one is "laughing behind" your back.

I don't know any people who would enjoy observing and speculating on any such thing. (Not even in high school, as they'd all fear being in the same boat.)

That's just stinking thinking and it's just not reality based.

So, back to YOU...


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Rose and 25, I think the Tread is probably talking about WW and OM, rather than "people in general." His feelings here are valid, and I've gotta say that I know how it feels to be in his place.


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Everybody,

I got a question. S13 has his 14th birthday coming up next Sunday. Basically I'm wondering if I should contact W and see if she wants to do something together for him or just leave it alone and do something separately?


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Originally Posted By: Tread
Everybody,

I got a question. S13 has his 14th birthday coming up next Sunday. Basically I'm wondering if I should contact W and see if she wants to do something together for him or just leave it alone and do something separately?


I thought you couldnt stand this woman? Why would you want to plan a party with her?

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Kaizen,

Things have been better since I stopped dealing with her outside of S13. She has even calmed down and approached me in regards to handling finances. Not going to let my guard down around her, but I was wondering if we should something for S13 sake. Not a huge party, but maybe take him out to dinner like we normally would. Not sure how to handle birthdays with the kid. Just trying to do what is best for the kid.


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Maybe arranged to take S13 out and mention to her she's welcome to come along...

Leave it up to her, shows your not bothered either way and your just as comfortable to do this on your own.


DR'ing started March 2017

Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
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