My W still says and has always said I am an awesome Dad. The last year has only made me stronger as a Dad. ...my 9 year old daughter will not stop hugging me every night at tuck in. She tells me good night and that I am the best dad in the world every night...
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
I am new to the filing for divorce process...are there resources here for what to do? My wife doesnt realize that filing is just the start. She literally said she would meet with a lawyer and be done by mid week.
It sounds out of place right now, but she already layed out a plan for her to keep tge house and me to leave. I honestly have poured my heart and soul into this house and do not want to lose it if this all follows through. Any advice?
Depends on what state you live in but most places are a 50/50 state. I live in Florida and all assets acquired during the marriage is considered communal property and therefore they have to be split 50/50. I have the advantage of my WH liking to own all his vehicles (2 cars and 4 motorcycles) and has agreed to let me have the house and he keeps his toys. Otherwise we'd have to seel the house or I would have to buy out his part of the 50%.
Your wife is delusional if she thinks this will be a short or painless process. Even filing takes time. I am buried underneath the financial affidavit and so I am making an appointment with my CPA to go over some of the more convoluted parts. This all takes time and money, and this is without a resistant spouse so far. If he decides to dog in his heels and make this complicated then it could run upwards of 50K....each. I did decide to make consults with all the highest rated family lawyers in town so WH couldn't use them. I am lucky in that they all offer free consults.
If you WW is not taking care of the kids as much make sure to document all of this. Keep a journal of how many hours she is spending with the kids each week. Every time she is late for her time then document. Judges could not care less about infidelity or emotional crap, they respond to documented facts.
Your goal should be more self-focued. You cannot make your wife react in any particular way but you can influence the outcome. So make your goals more concrete. For instance, I made myself goals about getting my hair done, started going to the gym, spending less time online and more time with my kids being "present."
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
and we are not done. It's a community property state and a long marriage.
There is no real estate now, and our kids are grown or in college.
No child support to argue and no custody to dispute. I filed 11 months ago.
If we have a trial, it'll be close to or above $100k in legal fees.
IF we settle before hand, it'll be a total of maybe $70k altogether. The only issue is money.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes settled their divorce (custody and property) in under 2 weeks but it was not finalized till the 6 month waiting period was over.
Are you in Nevada?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Have you read the 37 "rules" Sandi assembled? ( Yes they really are guidelines but still, are you doing those?)
No more arguing with her about why she should not file or why she "Should" stay m.
Be the better choice and prepare to move away or not be near your BIL if you do reconcile.
And as much as I usually do not support telling others, I did not know it was your sister.
Plus it's done now. How is your sister?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
My W still says and has always said I am an awesome Dad. The last year has only made me stronger as a Dad. ...my 9 year old daughter will not stop hugging me every night at tuck in. She tells me good night and that I am the best dad in the world every night...
^^^this is great. Keep it up.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Response to W and time with kids...My W is a teacher, and all 3 of our kids attend the school she works at. They go to afterschool care for an hour to work on homework, then she brings them home. They are all home by 4:30 pm, and I get home by 6 pm. Two evenings per week, I go to exercise with a group of friends right when I get home. She used to exercise two of the other evenings. We all exercise saturday morning, including our kids.
My W is in grad school now, so two evenings per week, I do not see her until 9:30 pm. She puts the kids ahead of her work, so she works from the time they go to bed until 1 am, sleeps on couch, gets up at 5 am to work until kids get up at 6:30 am, and they head out to school. I take the kids to school whenever they want to go in 20 minutes later.
My W started on crazy schedules like this when she started working again after 8 years off with our kids. This is also the time our marriage really started going downhill. She has been working 3 years now.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
In response to pursuing...I only told my W that I did not think a D was best for the kids or us. I hsve not said anything about it since and have been easy to be around.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
My BIL is lying to my sister, telling her he was on a different page than my W. I have seen the texts from both and know they were on the exact same page.
My Sister is in denial saying he just was not thinking. She is also in denial as to how their marriage is doing...they are living like room mates also, but she thinks it is a phase.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
