I'm keeping any thought of recon. completely off my radar. I don't want to hold on to the slightest glimmer of hope, because it will just hold me back from moving forward. SO is non her path and I need to start down mine, and they aren't going in the same direction
Thank you accuray and A S......your words and support mean a lot. I just need to be convinced that I'm doing the best that I can. this is a real struggle. it's so nice having people around me that care enough to share in on it....THANK YOU!
I'm keeping any thought of recon. completely off my radar. I don't want to hold on to the slightest glimmer of hope, because it will just hold me back from moving forward. SO is non her path and I need to start down mine, and they aren't going in the same direction
I understand. It's different for different people, some need to hang onto hope to give them reasons to keep moving forward while others feel more comfortable completely letting go of all hope. So do what you need to do for you. Personally I don't think there's ever reason to give up hope, I've seen marriages restored from absolutely impossible situations.
Well, I guess there's always a possibility. All I know NOW, is that "they" have put down a years lease on a nearby home, and they are starting to rekindle their amazing relationship. The old family is moving in together on Friday. I'm 47 years old. I don't have time to wait around and watch that slowly fizzle, if it every does. ....I have to build my own life
today I'm back at the retaining wall, I've been working on. It's starting to take shape. This is a project that I've been putting off for many years, and I think its only going to take me about 5 days to knock it out. My muscles are already sore, probably from lack of food and water over the last week. I've lost 12 pounds. I feel weak, but I am still digging holes, throwing timbers, pouring concrete and making progress. The hard work hasn't cleared my mind. I Still think about WAS, constantly. BUT, the hard work is giving me an outlet tho. Call it a mans gym. I know once its done it will give me a feeling of accomplishment......The wheels just keep on rolling...
I think I am crashing, or depression is setting in really heavy this afternoon. I feel lethargic and half out of it. I tried to pick myself up and go for lunch, at a nearby place. I was able to eat, not much, but better than I have been doing. I just cant shakes this overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I feel absolutely EMPTY. The only emotion I am able to pull up is sadness. I don't know how to break away from this, and I worry that I might get stuck in the grieving cycle. I CANT let myself get stuck!
Well, I guess there's always a possibility. All I know NOW, is that "they" have put down a years lease on a nearby home, and they are starting to rekindle their amazing relationship. The old family is moving in together on Friday. I'm 47 years old. I don't have time to wait around and watch that slowly fizzle, if it every does. ....I have to build my own life
I understand, and I'm not trying to talk you out of giving up hope but I do have a personal anecdote that is not a lot different than your situation. A good friend of mine was happily married, or so he thought, when his wife went full-blown WAS on him. They were both mid-50's at the time, and had been married around 8 years I think. She got enamored with some OM and left my buddy and immediately moved into a house with OM. They sold their farm, closed their business and split the sheets. He went totally dark on her. Not angrily, he just figured they were done and he was in enough hurt and didn't want to make it worse. They didn't have kids together or anything so it wasn't hard for him to cut all contact. About 2 years after the S she started texting him again, just asking how he was doing and such (she was still with OM at the time). Eventually they went out on a date, then another, then another. Next thing I knew I was having lunch with him and he had his ring on. I was like "woah, what gives?" They had reconnected, moved back in together and are happier together now than ever before. Turns out she never did file for D, so they just put their rings back on. I have another friend that reconciled with his XW over 10 years after they split. He's in his late 50's. And those aren't even the crazy, impossible recons that I mentioned before, I know some doozies.
Originally Posted By: swoop
I think I am crashing, or depression is setting in really heavy this afternoon. I feel lethargic and half out of it. I tried to pick myself up and go for lunch, at a nearby place. I was able to eat, not much, but better than I have been doing. I just cant shakes this overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I feel absolutely EMPTY. The only emotion I am able to pull up is sadness. I don't know how to break away from this, and I worry that I might get stuck in the grieving cycle. I CANT let myself get stuck!
You won't get stuck, what you're going through is 100% normal. There are no shortcuts, you've got to do some grieving before you'll be able to move on. Just be patient with yourself, you'll be fine but you've got some rough things to go through first. Hang in there buddy!
So your buddy's W who was still married to him was laid up with OM for 2 years. And he still took her back? Don't know if I would still be around for that.
To add to Tread, do you know what type of work did he put his W through before he took her back? I have a feeling that he wasn't waiting around for her, but she came back and he saw that the R still had merit.
