WAW? Would Love Opinions. Thanks! Part 5

[joejoe1]

If she doesn't have access, why would you give her access. If she doesn't know about it then that's not your problem. She wants the divorce and she needs to find a way to afford a lawyer. Let her figure it out. If she comes to you, go talk to a lawyer first and ask do you have to provide her money.

[Maika]

Nope. As Joe said, let her figure it all out.

[TBSakaJ9]

I guess part of my thought process is that in a D she would get half of our marital assets which she currently doesn't have access to. She would get the money post D but has no access to it pre D. If/when it happens it's probably something I will need to consult with a L about. A friend of mine is local county judge so it's probably something I could run by him.

[TBSakaJ9]

Was at soccer practice with my D's tonight and my 8 yr old starts signing the I got big butts song. I was like hold on there where di u hear that song. She said she was at 1 of her moms friends house and my W and her friend where playing it my W's friends neighboors were over as well. She said they were a couple of young boys that lived in the apartment next door.

I am trying to curb my emotions but I am about done with this crap. I know I can't control it but I am about tired of being patient in this limbo state. I have really been thinking about filing for D myself over the course of the past week or so . If my W is going to do this stype of stuff I am really starting to question my role in sitting on the sidelines, doing me while this is happening.

I know if I file for D it won't change anything but maybe I can get some self-respect back. She still shows no interest in working on our R and it is coming up on the 3rd month of our separation.

Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on this?

[joejoe1]

My thought is start enjoying your life. Stop worrying about your wife. Shes not worried about you. Emotionally detach. You havent detached yet. If these situation are still bothering you, you are still there emotionally.

If you are worried about your daughters, filling a D won't change who their mother is. I'm 3 months in as well. We have to control our emtionals and live life. Lets GAL hard!!!!!! Lets love our kids hard!!!! Lets detach until we see thru the WW wife.

[Kylo]

I would think her new lawyer would tell her how to get the money, whether she is "entitled" to some of it, or he gets paid at the time of D.

[Kylo]

I'm not going to tell you what you should do, but I will clarify your thinking. You are choosing to DB. It is a difficult and counter-intuitive thing. You aren't choosing DB because that's just how you are and it is the path of least resistance (it is the complete opposite). You are choosing DB because it may work. You should have MORE respect for yourself for trying it.

I may have misinterpreted your post. If so, my apologies.

[LH19]

Easy big fella you are overeacting to a bad 80s song. Remember that you are working on you for you and not her and it will pay off for you in the long run.

What do you mean filing for D will get your respect back?

[TBSakaJ9]

LH.....meaning like, taking control of the situation. It just seems those that saved their marriage took some sort of action outside of just working on themselves. Maybe it was threantening D, maybe it was forcing the WW to move out or maybe it was exposing the A, etc. It just seems that just sitting back and doing you rarely works it is a combination of a few things.

[lcause]

The difference is that they knew they were ok with the result even if it turned the other way around. Are you? All I can say is that don't burn the bridges and let the time do it's thing. Doing nothing is actually doing SOMETHING, in this case. You are DBing. I realized I'm currently wanting to grow alone myself but there was no reason for me to push my XW further away by my actions in case my mind changes in the future. I gained nothing from it. Live your life for you now, time will show.