Oh that boundary is irrational. I need to analyze and set more meaning for boundaries for me. That boundary was for her. "I told her if she calls him again on our house phone. That doesn't affect me." I'm getting my plan in place.
I have been becoming stronger and more confident. Life is going to be ok either way. But I'm not letting this relationship end with her seeing me unhappy and not the best me. There will be doubt in her mind when this is over. It's all about me and my boys now.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
The account situation can get very tricky. No matter how delicately you handle it, your W might still take it as a personal assault and effort to punish her. Especially since she's a SAHM. And it will be seen as a lack of trust, no matter what you say.
How will she be able to pay for household items if there's no money going into the shared account from your paycheck?
You could possibly set up a separate account for yourself, have your paycheck deposited there, and then transfer a portion to the joint checking account so she has access to something.
My STBXW and I had a big blow up over finances and how to split things. Now this is with a woman who has a job and was withdrawing hundreds of dollars without telling me the reason. But I was the bad guy because I limited her access to MY banking login, when she had her own banking login that she could use to access the same account.
Anyway ... tread carefully. Legal advice couldn't hurt at this point.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
I'm being a little hypocritical here, but once my business was able to pay me a paycheck, I carved out about 20% per pay period via direct deposit and put it into a new account that was solely in my name, where W couldn't access it. I did this because she kept casually playing the D card, and I wanted to protect myself just in case. And if things work out we'll have some extra money for the kids college fund or something.
But, my IC did caution me to talk with a lawyer about this, which I have not done.
I'm being a little hypocritical here, but once my business was able to pay me a paycheck, I carved out about 20% per pay period via direct deposit and put it into a new account that was solely in my name, where W couldn't access it. I did this because she kept casually playing the D card, and I wanted to protect myself just in case. And if things work out we'll have some extra money for the kids college fund or something.
But, my IC did caution me to talk with a lawyer about this, which I have not done.
why not? A L is not going to tell on you but will give you what the parameters are.
knowledge is power - and you only have to pay either nothing for a free consult or a one hour fee.
In other words, No downside
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
So I have a story to tell. It's an ironic. Today in the life of Joejoe1 his WW has that audacity to tell him he has an attitude. She kept looking at me funny and finally asked "what's wrong with you". Then she saids I know I have been having an attitude but you have attitude as well.
Now let me tell y'all I dont have an attitude I'm just not all up her butt. I'm nowhere she is. Now this is the same woman calling the OM on our house phone yesterday. The logic of WW wife's are hilarious.
Shes probing. I'm moving forward. She can keep trying to figure me out. Because I'm done trying to figure her out.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Check this out. So I go downstairs to get my baby some diapers and some milk. She's talking to me, then she asked me do I want to taste her brussels sprouts. I said yeah, tasted it told her thank you and went upstairs. She barely told me to words yesterday and today, she emails me, calls me and wanted to hold a conversation. My spider senses are up. No you don't WW. Knowledge is power.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
and you only have to pay either nothing for a free consult or a one hour fee
True, but I want to have a slew of questions and some mental clarity lined up before I engage in that discussion. The bank account is a 5-minute portion of a 60-minute freebie, and I don't want to waste anyone's time.
W is all over the map regarding what she wants, and because M is what I want, I'm not sure I'm ready to walk through that lawyer door just yet.
I think my brain is getting whiplash trying to track where things are going.
