Question: it may be that I can use her EA in a counter file as grounds for divorce- marital impropriety. If it gets me an edge in my custody fight do I go with this strategy knowing that it'll get nasty?
Like Acc said, it's probably not an option. Courts finally got tired of trying to sort out fault in D cases, so most states have adopted "no fault" stances. It may not be fair, but it sure makes their lives easier. If your W is physically and/ or mentally abusive then that would be grounds for granting you full custody, but engaging in an affair is just not a big deal to the courts.
Another Stander, You seem to have a handle on the legal side of things- not to hijack, but could you go over to my thread and give me your thoughts on some of my questions? Thanks! (I'm in Alabama.)
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Question: it may be that I can use her EA in a counter file as grounds for divorce- marital impropriety. If it gets me an edge in my custody fight do I go with this strategy knowing that it'll get nasty?
If you have documented proof then use anything and everything you can. Her concern is no longer your concern.
It's been some time since I've posted here. I hope everyone is doing well.
My situation remains the same, unfortunately. Lately I've been having bad dreams about my W where I plead with her to stay and not leave me. I think I've actually cried in my sleep. I'm also dealing with bouts of depression. I've been taking a prescription for several months, but I feel that it doesn't work.
I'm still living with my W and the D is not final. My W hasn't come to me on when she wants to tell our son about her D plans. I tried to have a conversation with her about it, but it turned into an argument where she threw out her favorite phrase "Stop bullying me". I'm also waiting on this job that I applied for, which I think I have a high probability of getting. There's so much up in the air right now, it's hard to think straight.
I plan on joining a divorce recovery program this week called Divorce Care. Has anyone heard of it?
On the bright side, I've had to turn away a couple of women who I met through my Swing (that's Big Band music to you folks) dances. I must confess that it was exhilarating to feel wanted again, to have a woman ask me questions about my life, and who simply liked me. I got their phone numbers and for about a week enjoyed flirtatious bantering with them via text messages. I realized how addictive and exciting it was to do this and that this is how my W must've felt when she started her EA. I also realized how quickly this situation could've developed into a sexual affair. Knowing that, I can't believe that my W's EA has not developed into a PA.
I felt conflicted at first, but then I figured, my W is the who filed for D and told me that she doesn't want me - why should I keep myself from having fun? To be clear, there was no physical activity with either woman and I only met one outside of dancing for coffee. In the end, I cut off communication with both. What I learned through this little adventure is that there are a lot of women out there, so I feel encouraged about my future prospects. Is this taking detaching too far?
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Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
So my W is prepping the house for the market. How should I respond if she asks me to help out? She's been working the past two days. I've been spending wonderful times with my S.
Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
Prehaps this a slip up on detaching, but my S and I went to an outdoor play last night. I texted her to let her know where we were. I took a photo of my son at the venue and texted it her with the comment: "You're welcome to join us". I never got a response.
Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
I find myself doing the same thing on a regular bases. You had a fun time with S so her not responding didn't change the evening. Just keep going and use your t as a learning experience.
Hi Teppo, welcome back and glad to hear you're doing well. It is indeed exhilarating and affirming to know there are plenty of available women out there who will be interested in you.
Glad you're detaching and no you can't detach too much. It's okay to offer to have W join you with your son, it's good for him. Just do it with no expectations so you can't be disappointed.
Stay strong!
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
