My plans this weekend do not involve the w and i am very much looking forward to them. For 20+ years my w and i did everything together or at least supported each other in activities. It is strange to attend things solo but the enjoyment of the events is still there.
The one thing i need in my GAL activities is to forge some new friendships and do things. I am a bit of a loner. But was never lonely.
Almost started feeling sad for myself!!! Vacation no time for that!
So this a Question i hesitate to bring up because in my heart i know the answer.
Im what is concidered a stable nice guy who looks after his family and loves his kids. As people are becoming aware of my situation i have had concerned ladies offer to sit down with me and share a coffee and listen if i need to talk. Dinner and talk so and so on.
The question is if i keep this in a larger group setting will this be looked at like a GAL activity or will it look like im looking for a replacemnet for w.
So this a Question i hesitate to bring up because in my heart i know the answer.
Im what is concidered a stable nice guy who looks after his family and loves his kids. As people are becoming aware of my situation i have had concerned ladies offer to sit down with me and share a coffee and listen if i need to talk. Dinner and talk so and so on.
The question is if i keep this in a larger group setting will this be looked at like a GAL activity or will it look like im looking for a replacemnet for w.
I had many of these coffee sessions. They were awesome. It was so nice to sit down with a lovely member of the opposite sex that wasn't treating me like crap. It did not go unnoticed either. I highly recommend it.
The question is if i keep this in a larger group setting will this be looked at like a GAL activity or will it look like im looking for a replacemnet for w.
That's tough, you are quite insightful that this has the potential to be looked at as "auditioning" for the replacement.
I would see no problem if it was indeed a group setting, but in that instance... it can be difficult to have a true vent.
The only thing in that situation is to be cautioned NOT to have this the beginnings of an EA.
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
Don't know why - seems quite unfair - but abandoned or widowed chaps seem to get casseroles and sympathetic ladies! I think us girls should get sympathetic chaps with toolboxes or spare wine personally!
On a serious note, nothing wrong with company and a bit of TLC - just make sure you don't make a complicated sitch more complicated or inadvertently mislead or hurt someone else, I guess. Certainly, having lost my father and my H at the same time, much as I love my girlfriends, I do miss male company and perspectives.
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
Thank you Wf you put into words just what i was thinking. I have a lady friend i feel i could share anything with im not physically attracked to her but it bothers me that i could sit and share my issues with her and i cant get that same sort of conversation going with my w.
I find my self looking at my wife from afar and feeling like the gap is getting wider.
Question
Why if i can find a way to connect with a female friend is it so hard to find a common ground with the w.
Question
Because i have so much contact with my w do you think asking a question like "do you enjoy these small interactions with me and the familly and if so would you like to add anything to them?" Be a smart thing to do
Woundedfool do you have a active thread at this time i have read up on your history with the renewed contact of your w imvery intsrested in how this may affect some of your choices going forward thanks again for your comments and suggestions.
