Thanks bttrfly. I definitely am passing it along to my lawyer.
I have no clue how to deal with such an awful human being. He and I both know he's a liar and yet he's gonna stick to his story and make me look like the bad guy and it just baffles me. There's no collaborating with him at all. It's just nasty and hurtful spew.
I guess I'm just scared for how else I should be protecting myself because nothing is off limits with him.
Ugh...
I don't know how to disarm him and I don't know how to protect myself from all curveballs. He must be in a really bad place to be verbally combative.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
I must sound like a broken record with this one....but his anger is all about him okay?
Just because he says X, it doesn't mean that you are Y...
These are his issues and if he chooses to deal with this situation in such a way, that's up to him and isn't really about you.
Given his behaviour, does it work for you to be in direct contact with him? It helped me a lot to manage contact with XH by removing that email account from my phone. Then he couldn't access me wherever and whenever. I accessed stuff from him in my own time and on my own terms and it did me a lot of good. He had no idea of course..
The most response I would offer your ex (if any) is I'm sorry you feel that way...
But put this event in the context of the rest of your life, which is headed in such a good direction. It is a horrid thing and you may feel yucky for a little while and then you will move past it...
In the meantime, take care and my best wishes to you xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
And no, you're not a broken record Sotto... I actually always keeps your guidance in the back of my mind and I do take it to heart.
I think Im doing a better job of employing my shield to deflect this anger... Where I get tripped up is when he lies to me, his lawyer, the judge... I am so fearful that I don't have a leg to stand on because his stories are that good.
I don't know how to protect myself from him... especially from that which is unknown... He's pretty malicious and the new item of business is about the dog which makes me get all mama-bear. It's tough. I can't imagine how painful this must be with human children in the mix.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Exactly one year ago yesterday, my ex served me with divorce papers. We had a long 15 month separation before that, where I held out hope for reconciliation. Since he filed for the divorce, everything has gone waaaaaaaay down hill between him and I. It's been an ugly year.
The good news is, yesterday will no longer be remembered as the day I got served, but the day I climbed Mt. Whitney! Woohoo!
The hike was extremely strenuous, but I'm proud of the accomplishment. It was quite the experience and I'm so glad I did it. I was so loopy and fatigued from the 6,000+ rapid elevation gain that, at one point, I was ready to crawl onto a rock and wait to become coyote food. Thats so morbid, but that's how exhausted I was. Each step took so much energy! Couple the altitude with navigating the treacherous terrain with patches of ice and snow, and being sleep deprived, and it just made for an exhausting experience. Me and another girl in my group had issues with the elevation, but we all finished and are all back at our usual sea level trying to take it easy and recover.
When I made it to the top, first thing I did was sign the log book. I made a bee line for the book without even taking in the view. I knew my goal in advance and that was to sign the book with my maiden name! It was ceremonial for me and it felt amazing! i was so proud of myself because this was me, being me, for me! I was able to then go take in the view and see exactly what I worked so hard for.
It was perfectly symbolic and another giant step forward. I know ex still affects me because he's just diabolical..... But I got me....and I have truth and integrity on my side and I'm capable of many things.
That's all for now...going to do some more recovery before I go pick up my dog. Can't wait to snuggle with him.
Wishing you all a lovely weekend.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
You GO girl! I climbed Whitney after my ex's first MLC affair - we had reconciled by the time the climb came around and we made it together. I didn't try to do it all in one day though. I took it easy and summitted on the third day ( but hiked all the way out that day too) No altitude sickness that way. But to be fair, we went the first open weekend in the spring. You know the switchbacks up to the Ridge? That was a snow field we climbed with ice axes and crampons. (Yes, I felt like a badass 47 year old!)
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hey there! KML, Job, Pinn, thanks for the congratulatory notes!
It's taken a bit to recover, but now that the pain and trauma is a few days old... I can look back and say Holy Cow, that was amazing! I can't believe I did that. I can't wait to do it again!
KML- I remember you sharing your training for the hike..you are definitely a bad a$$ woman...I tip my cap to you, lady! So awesome!
Yesterday, my family threw me a surprise bday party as I'll be away on my actual birthday. That was really nice of them. It was fun to share my whitney stories!
Now onto the next venture.... I will be going on an international medical mission next week. I'm nervous, but think the experience will be challenging and rewarding. There is an acupuncturist on our team so I think it's pretty cool that we'll be able to help some of the population using eastern and holistic medicine. Talk about progressive!
Today, I am grateful for my friends who made it out of the Vegas country concert unscathed. Others weren't so lucky. The world is such a crazy and scary place. I'm reminded to love those in my life as they are and appreciate them as they are because as we all know.... Tomorrow is never guaranteed. So sad.
And I'm grateful for all of you, as well. Wishing you a peaceful and loving week.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
