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A Message from Michele
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#2754677 - 08/02/17 09:25 AM 5 years on still together and haunted
3am Offline
Member

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 29
We're still together and I'm still haunted by my wife's affair 5 years on. When the affair first came out I got Michele's materials, followed it to a tee and we are still together (thank you). My wife made all the changes, big ones including moving and I can't fault her.

But I still have daily flashbacks about their sex. It's destroying me. I'll be dreaming about something random and then there'll be a switch to them having sex, I don't consciously decide to think about it, it just pops into my head and bam feel like crap. I tell my self 'stop' immediately and do something to not dwell but I don't know why these keep coming in, daily without prompting or any pre-thought about it.

Has this happened to anyone else, how did you get past it?

I don't want to spend the rest of my marriage like this.

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#2754914 - 08/04/17 06:35 AM Re: 5 years on still together and haunted [Re: 3am]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2890
Loc: Piney Land
I'm sorry ur going through this. I don't have personal experience with this. What happened to u is very traumatic. It is similar to having PTSD. Intrusive thoughts can be triggered by a number of factors, smells, sounds, noice etc...EMDR is very effective in treating traumas. Visit their Web site to find a certified practitioner near you. Or try a counselor who has trauma specific trainig.
_________________________
M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2754916 - 08/04/17 06:40 AM Re: 5 years on still together and haunted [Re: 3am]
Cristy Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/14
Posts: 1121
Originally Posted By: 3am
We're still together and I'm still haunted by my wife's affair 5 years on. When the affair first came out I got Michele's materials, followed it to a tee and we are still together (thank you). My wife made all the changes, big ones including moving and I can't fault her.

But I still have daily flashbacks about their sex. It's destroying me. I'll be dreaming about something random and then there'll be a switch to them having sex, I don't consciously decide to think about it, it just pops into my head and bam feel like crap. I tell my self 'stop' immediately and do something to not dwell but I don't know why these keep coming in, daily without prompting or any pre-thought about it.

Has this happened to anyone else, how did you get past it?

I don't want to spend the rest of my marriage like this.


Hello 3am,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

Couples often struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never ending arguments about the betrayal. Healing from infidelity is achievable for both of you with the right support and tools.

Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004
_________________________
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.

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