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Originally Posted By: Natus
PAs to why i filed, even though we were separated she kinda left a hook in, dropping lines every few months like shall we try dating and "do you think it can work", but when i called her out (as in sure lets go out) she changes tune. So after almost a year of that i'm just done.

Why do you think that being DIVORCED will change that?

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Originally Posted By: Kaizen
Originally Posted By: Natus
PAs to why i filed, even though we were separated she kinda left a hook in, dropping lines every few months like shall we try dating and "do you think it can work", but when i called her out (as in sure lets go out) she changes tune. So after almost a year of that i'm just done.

Why do you think that being DIVORCED will change that?


Being divorced is for me. That marriage was done when Bomb dropped a little over a year ago only i refused to accept it. She has no desire to get back to me and i am at the stage i am okay with that.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Ah i forgot to journal how its easier now with handover.

This took a while but i realised i was kinda clinging onto my on son. As if not being a super daddy made me bad daddy. I dont remember how but i got into a conversation where i recalled my parents offloading me and my brothers to our grans during school holidays and some(most) weekends. It made me realise that didnt make them bad parents and i had tons of fun.

I dont feel guilty anymore and if anything i feel quite happy. Plus i know s6 is happy, hes ton of cousins at her place (she moved back in with her mum - its a full house with her brothers and sisters kids there too).

So now i gleefully hand s6 over to her.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Texted the stbx happy mothers day a little belatedly as i was out of town. Im a little amazed at myself how easy it felt. Was at a mixed martial art competition for the weekend. It feels good to do my own thing.

Admittedly sometimes the M will pop up in my head and i'll start to miss it but they come once in awhile now and last for seconds.

9 Days to D court date. Trying to figure out how to treat myself.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Natus Offline OP
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The D is done. Was a bit of a rollercoaster ride leading up to it but its okay now. I was disappointed though at the seeming finality of it, that the M has come to an end and in some ways i blame her for pulling me into her families track record of divorce.

Feel a little clueless now. In the beginning it was about surviving the D. Now its done i need to look inwards and decide what next.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 293
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Natus,

I've followed your story almost from day one. I am not sure if I ever posted on your threads, but I did follow. Your sitch was definitely a roller coaster. Good luck and please continue to post to let us know what's going on with you.


M 55 W 52
MR 32 T 34+
D29
BD May 8, 2016 - She moved out
ILYBNILWY May 15 (Through email)
No EA/PA
August 23 - DB used against me in every way
Divorce July 18, 2017 - Life is getting better every day
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Hey Thanks RDS. Nothing much at the moment but it seems the Divorce has dragged up the anger. Looking to schedule some time off work and go on a trip, maybe somewhere with beach.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
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You had a strong border regarding OM as I can see. I was in a similar situation where W did change job but continued contact.

Unlike me you have confidence in yourself. I hope happiness will come to your life. Good luck going forward.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
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Journaling my post D journey.

I went complete NC the day of the divorce, back story i had always kept a line open on the guise of logistics whatever for son (we use to let our son send voice notes in the morning and at night). Now i realised that sort of hurt my ability to completely detached. It let her keep a hook in whether it was intentional or not. So im feeling a little free-er now that i dont have to deal with that every morning and night.

Is it possible to be WAS after D? :> Cause i feel like one. Did some flirting and coffee over the weekend which was fun, great gal but to bad spoken for (not married but in a relationship). Why are all the cute ones im into spoken for...sigh.

Had a long weekend, three full days painting room by myself. So sore but its a good soreness. Planned to do simple matte white walls, grey beams and gloss black for the skirting. Just about done the walls, beams and skirting next.

Chilling with s6 is probably the most awesomest part. The boy is so happy-go-lucky through it all. I feel blessed in that area. We just try to have lotsa fun and im indoctrinating him in Metal/Rock, lots and lots of air guitar. :>


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Posts: 436
When it spin it spins. After 2 months of barely any contact (I dont have to be around for handovers as she picks him up directly from school) I get 5 miscalls through out the night from OM's wife.

Woke up at around 6am saw the miscalls and stupidly called back. Turns out she had followed her husband and caught him and xw together. I get sucked right back into the drama.

Shes still wayward, places blame on me saying i molded her into this person. Im like wow. We didnt even have that bad a marriage. I wasnt an alcoholic, or woman beater or whatever. I tried my best to surprise her on her birthdays and anniversary and did that ever year. We travelled the world together. I wanted the best for her.

It kinda stung when after a year plus she is still trying to validate her actions by blaming me.

Just ranting.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
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