It's very painful to learn how my W calls this man her "protector" and has expressed concern for his health - he's 14 years older than her! Additionally, she insists that everything is 100% my fault when talking to family/friends all the while not mentioning her EA. It's just so frustrating!
Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
My XW's OM is 18 years her senior. He is ugly, completely greyhaired, bad teeth and big ears. There is nothing wrong with age gap relationships (heck I've got a crush on a co-worker 18 years my junior) or the other stuff in my OM description, but you'll see in a lot of sitches that the OM isn't some sort of dream partner and that's the reason I think a lot of women get dragged in.
The OM appears to the WW to be nothing more than a friend, a safe one, since they on the surface aren't anyone the WW could fall for, and suddendly their friendship turns into an EA and the train starts rolling. But they do offer the vulnarable WW those few percentages that we apparently neglegted, but for the WW at the moment, those things are more important to her than the full package.
One day, I suppose, a lot of the WW's will wake up next to Quasimodo and think, what the fok just happened here. How they will act after that however, thats the question.
If a confident, strong, fit and good looking XH who didn't burn any bridges, appears available, then who knows...
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
Your last sentence about not "burning any bridges" struck me. I'm about to get served papers and trying to decide which kind of lawyer I want to retain. There's a price difference of $1,400. One has a well-known reputation for being a real b!tch and cutthroat. What should I do if my W makes the D difficult and nasty? How does one avoid burning bridges in that scenario?
Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
Have you discussed Mediation with your wife? Can you agree on most things? 50/50 custody? Who gets the martial home? The rest is merely a calculation. It will be best for your son if you can keep it amicable.
Have you discussed Mediation with your wife? Can you agree on most things? 50/50 custody? Who gets the martial home? The rest is merely a calculation. It will be best for your son if you can keep it amicable.
LH19,
No, I haven't discussed mediation with my W, or anything else for that matter. She's been distant and cold for weeks toward me. I want to keep things amicable.
Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
So, I did something crazy. I asked my W to go to a big band dance this Friday. I said this wasn't some sort of trick to win her back. I said we don't have to talk about the D and that we should just go and have fun since we've both been under a lot of stress. She said "I'll think about it". I think I caught her off guard by the invitation. I said if you don't want to go that's ok as well. Either way I'm going to continue my GAL.
Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
In DR it mentions that if you do something like this, don't make it a "date" with her, but just plan on going, tell her you're going, and tell her she's welcome to join if she wants. But you go NO MATTER WHAT. If you can do that consistently and be ambivalent about whether she goes or not, then it's not pressure.
I agree with AnotherStander. Just be sure to go without her if she rejects the offer. And issue asks aboutvitvbeing a date just tell her that you two just need to hang out and relax.
Yep. I made it clear to her that there's no expectations on my part and that I thought it would be fun considering the stress we've been under. I'm definitely going no matter what she decides. Thanks guys!
P.s. I'm sure my invitation was a psychological curveball to her. She's been predicting to her friends that I would not be handling the D well and that would be angry and moody - nope! I haven't expressed any of those emotions at all thanks to DB!
Married 9, Together 13, Divorce in Progress M: 44, W: 44, S: 7 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/19/17
She's been predicting to her friends that I would not be handling the D well and that would be angry and moody - nope! I haven't expressed any of those emotions at all thanks to DB!
