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A Message from Michele
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#2751029 - 07/13/17 11:10 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: skm0619]
SBJ Online
Member

Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 683
Loc: Texas
Skm...thanks for the kind words. The only strength I have comes from my relationship with God, and trust me when I say that I consult him every hour of every day. I have surrounded myself with strong, like minded me that know I am standing for the covenant of marriage. They know that I am 100% against divorce so they help me on a daily basis with encouragement. I think it's important that we have people of faith that have our backs. That way, when doubt creeps into our minds, they will still be standing strong forums and with us. It's the same for all of the friends on here.

I also have read a lot of what sandi has written. She comes at it from the prodigals perspective so her 2x4's carry a lot of weight with me.

As far as valuing the "commitment" that I made to her...I see it as much more than that. It was a covenant between the two of us and God. I want to honor her for sure, but more importantly, I want to honor Him.

I hope all is well with you.
_________________________
Me 46 W43
T25 M22
S19 D14 S10
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!

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#2751030 - 07/13/17 11:20 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: Gordie]
SBJ Online
Member

Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 683
Loc: Texas
Originally Posted By: Gordie
What's your exercise of choice?

Have you ever tried mid week mass?

Good to see you going out with friends.


Originally Posted By: Gordie
Now that you've signed the d papers, what happens next?


Exercise of choice is hard...I just got over a broken big toe and am nursing a strained rotator cuff at the moment. I'm hitting the road with some light jogging and doing some swimming. Heavy weights are out for now, but I have some friends urging me to try Crossfit.

We do a midweek Mass/Rosary/Men's Faith Sharing on Tuesdays.

As for going out with friends...as the song goes...
"I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was."

Unless by some miraculous occurrence the D is stopped, I will continue doing what I've been doing. I will continue to pray for her and my family. What is hard to do for a lot of us here is to simply "Let go and Let God" handle things.

Now then stand still and see the great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes! 1 Samual 12:16
_________________________
Me 46 W43
T25 M22
S19 D14 S10
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!

Top
#2751461 - 07/17/17 04:41 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: SBJ]
Gordie Online
Member

Registered: 11/30/16
Posts: 1468
Loc: USA
Take your time coming back from the injury. I love crossfit and did it for several years. I learned a ton in terms of movements and proper lifting form and trying new things.

It's so great you have such a great church community. It's something I'm lacking at the moment and being the single dad at church is kind of stinky, particularly if the kids aren't well behaved and I get criticized for it. I say nothing back but it makes my blood boil.

And that country song? I always thought that was about sex!
_________________________
At BD:
Me 40s, W 40s, M20+, lots of kids
2011-2015 W's MLC begins: new look, friends, beliefs, job
2016 BD - W doesn't want to be married anymore
2017 - W files

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#2751527 - 07/17/17 08:18 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: Gordie]
SBJ Online
Member

Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 683
Loc: Texas
Originally Posted By: Gordie
Take your time coming back from the injury. I love crossfit and did it for several years. I learned a ton in terms of movements and proper lifting form and trying new things.


No real rush on the injury front, but the older I get the longer it takes to heal and recover. It is just frustrating.

Originally Posted By: Gordie
It's so great you have such a great church community. It's something I'm lacking at the moment and being the single dad at church is kind of stinky, particularly if the kids aren't well behaved and I get criticized for it. I say nothing back but it makes my blood boil.


Nothing bothers me more than people who judge others. Years ago, my wife had to have surgery. My kids felt all of the tension and I decided to take them to IHOP for breakfast. My youngest was inconsolable and fussy. At some point I just got up from frustration and decided to leave with the kids before eating. A lady next to us said..."It's about time" and something about not being able to control my kids. I verbally went off on her and her 20-something year old son got in my face as I was holding my then 3 year old. I don't blow my top easily, but I would have kicked the @&$% out him in the restaurant had I not been holding my son. Nobody knows what anyone else is going thru, and no one has the right to judge you, especially if you are trying to worship & praise God with your children. If they don't like it, they can go to another church.

Originally Posted By: Gordie
And that country song? I always thought that was about sex!


As far as what the song is talking about...I'm sure he mean it to be about sex, but as I said earlier...the older I get it becomes more clear that it has multiple meanings. HAHA!

>>>>>>>
JOURNALING:

My kids spent the last week away with the W and her fathers side of the family. It was kind of lonely, but I stayed busy and had a very good weekend.

When the kids got home yesterday, my 10 yr old made my day by running up to me and jumping into my arms. He hasn't really done that since he was really young. He is totally awesome.

They had a great time, but I would hope that my presence was missed by all. This was the first time in 20 years that I didn't make that trip with the W. Crazy.

One of my patients, that knows that my W and I are going thru the D called today. She said that she had a dream about my W that she returned to me and my kids. She is a wonderful christian woman that has experienced MLC in her family...her son's gone thru it with his W and she is praying hard for all of us that are going thru this.
_________________________
Me 46 W43
T25 M22
S19 D14 S10
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!

Top
#2751557 - 07/17/17 10:52 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: SBJ]
Gordie Online
Member

Registered: 11/30/16
Posts: 1468
Loc: USA
An older gentleman said almost the exact thing to me on Sunday. I wanted to tell him to s t f u and tell him it's people like you that make people like me want to leave the church...but I didn't...
_________________________
At BD:
Me 40s, W 40s, M20+, lots of kids
2011-2015 W's MLC begins: new look, friends, beliefs, job
2016 BD - W doesn't want to be married anymore
2017 - W files

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#2751680 - 07/18/17 03:20 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: Gordie]
SBJ Online
Member

Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 683
Loc: Texas
Gord, sometimes it is best just to bite your lip and do your own thing. Those that judge others will be judged. Not many people know what you are going thru and hardly no one knows what you are feeling on a daily basis.

I feel eyes when I have my kids at church by myself. I sometimes wonder what they are thinking. However, if I'm with my kids at the movies, nobody would blink an eye. Isn't that weird. Sometimes the most judgmental people are those that claim to be so righteous.

You are doing the right thing by taking your children to church. It is our responsibility to raise our children the way God wanted us to. Many times, in our situations, both parents fall away from God and the children are left in the wake of destruction. By going with them to church, it shows them that we are supposed to put God first and then everything else should fall in line. I know I neglected that part...I thought I was putting my W first and then my family second. I would only talk to God when it was convenient to me. That was wrong and I am confident that is what threw things off.

Stay strong my friend, but most importantly...

Ephesians 6:10-20New American Standard Bible (NASB)

The Armor of God
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against [a]flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 [b]in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 [c]With all prayer and petition [d]pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, [e]be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, 19 and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in [f]chains; that [g]in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
_________________________
Me 46 W43
T25 M22
S19 D14 S10
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!

Top
#2751775 - 07/18/17 08:29 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: Gordie]
Coly23 Offline
Member

Registered: 07/22/16
Posts: 935
Hey SBJ, just popping in to say hi!

I agree with skm that the tone of your posts are never negative whatever trials you are having to endure.

I particularly love the 'to do' lists!

Sending you hugs (((SBJ)))
_________________________
Me - 47
H - 45
D-16
M - 6 years
Separated - May 16

Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')

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#2751805 - 07/18/17 11:09 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: SBJ]
Gordie Online
Member

Registered: 11/30/16
Posts: 1468
Loc: USA
SBJ,

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I confess there are days when I want to throw in the towel and not take the kids to church...but I persevere. And your comment about being judged...ain't that the truth!
_________________________
At BD:
Me 40s, W 40s, M20+, lots of kids
2011-2015 W's MLC begins: new look, friends, beliefs, job
2016 BD - W doesn't want to be married anymore
2017 - W files

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#2751849 - 07/18/17 05:08 PM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: Gordie]
OwnIt Online
Member

Registered: 03/16/17
Posts: 1122
Loc:
I just have a hard time believing anyone would judge either of you fine fellows.
_________________________
M 25 years
EA 6-12/11
ILYBINILWY 11/13
BD 1/16 PA w/OW1 (6/13-1/17)
Sep 10/16
OW2 as of 3/17

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#2752713 - 07/24/17 02:07 AM Re: From the other side of the mountain (pt.8) [Re: OwnIt]
SBJ Online
Member

Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 683
Loc: Texas
I hosted a memorial service for my grandfather that passed last month over the weekend and was able to spend time with my father and brothers as well as many extended family members. It was interesting and somewhat refreshing that I didn't have to discuss anything about my W at all.

She did text early the morning of the memorial saying that she was thinking about us and said that everyone was in her thoughts and prayers. Still kind of confuses me at times with her saying things like that, but it is out of my control.

Both of my brothers said that I seem to be handling things very well and that I look like I am doing well. God has kept me moving forward and allows me to function, but there are moments that I simply falter. Last night I watched the movie "Hacksaw Ridge"...I guess because of all of the emotions of the last year, I broke down.

It's funny, I was using that to keep my mind busy, but there was a point where he was courting his girlfriend and said to his mother that he was going to marry her. Kind of reminded me of my past. I told a friend after our first date that she was the one. I didn't tell her of course, but it was true. Her mother told me later that my W told her the same thing after dating for 2 weeks. How can we be so sure about something at some point in our lives and then simply let that dream die? It is truly sad.

I managed to get thru the movie, which is excellent by the way. I hope everyone has a great Monday...God bless.
_________________________
Me 46 W43
T25 M22
S19 D14 S10
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!

Top
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