With the WW out of town the past 4 days I had a great weekend with my kids. Had a bunch of things planned and they all went really well, love reconnecting with my kids after the BD. Part of my GAL is spending more quality time with the kids, all of them.
Great, keep it up!
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The part that kills me is she barely communicated with her own children!! The kids wanted to talk to her, they asked me if I talked to her but she didn't, the kids were/are very upset with her regarding this. I am starting to wonder if she just wants to be single, not sure she even wants the kids in her life as well???
I'm sure she does, but for now they probably make her feel guilty so she's distancing a little. Of course they don't understand that at their ages. Just support them as a dad and tell them to try and be patient with her.
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I did check the phone records
I must have missed the chapter in DB on checking phone records, can you remind me where that is? Just stop that. It's not healthy for your detachment. It's pretty much the opposite of detachment in fact.
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she seems to be OK with what she is doing.
She thinks she's doing the right thing for now. It'll take her a long time to decide otherwise. That's not to say she doesn't feel guilty, she does. But she also feels justified.
I notice you type (or paste) your signature into each post, if you go to "my stuff" then "edit profile" then scroll down to "signature" and type that stuff in there then hit "submit", it'll show up in your posts without you having to plug it in each time.
AnotherStander, Thank you for the words of encouragement! I used to get this from WW, thankfully my kids are there for me!! I know part of the DB is not snooping(phone records) I can't help myself. I have to stop! I need to work on this. I have convinced myself that in doing this I will protect my kids from learning what is really going on, my IC and lawyer have both told me that the kids are smart and will find our eventually what there mom did.
WW has now decided on her own to remove herself from the MBR, she slept in a different room the last two nights. She then moves back to the room after I leave in the morning. We still haven't told the kids so I assume they will start to ask questions if they see this going on. Also, I need some advice on this, what to do with social media??? should I unfriend/block/remove her?? I only keep it up in case she posts something about the kids but that is now few and far between. I unlike my WW have no problem giving my phone to my kids, I have nothing to hide, I let our daughter view my FB when WW was out of town just to see what she was doing as WW didn't communicate with the kids as much as I felt she should have. If I unfollow her on FB then my daughter will ask the question as to why I don't follow mom. Any advice here?? Thanks,
just unfollow her on FB, that way if your D wants to see her posts, she can still go directly to her page and it is unlikely she will even notice that you unfollowed her.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Need some help, WW sent me a message wanting to talk about what to do with custody,house,finances, talking to kids. I feel I need to set some boundaries here regarding playing nice and being amicable during and after the D process if that's where this ends up. I feel that I am unable to be amicable if she is involved with anybody other than me and our family. I know of the EA that she is so in love with, since he lives thousands of miles away I don't think there is a plan anytime soon to meet up but I'm sure it's in the works. I need to grow a set and let her know what she is doing will not be tolerated or do I even address it??? What to do here??? Please help
It's been a few weeks since I was on here, WW and I went to dinner(her suggestion) to talk through some issues with the kids, house etc.... We both had decided to tell the kids this week, I asked her is she was prepared to answer questions? Like if one of our kids asked us if one of us cheated, she started crying and told me she would need to think about what she would say. Well, this week has now come to an end with zero discussion on when to talk to the kids. Of course I do not want to say anything to them unless she is 110% sure she wants to divorce. I have really adopted my GAL trying to figure out more things to do, most involve my kids, we do ask WW if she wants to do the activities with us and she declines, doesn't change my plans. I think she is starting to take notice in what I am doing, how I look , and even threw a compliment my way when I arrived home after my workout. Still think she is talking to her EA, hopefully that will come to an end at some point. I remember reading in one of the posts that you won't be able to move on until you are willing to let it go, I think I'm close to that point of letting it go. Started looking at houses and making plans for what I will do as a single dad. The thought of doing some of the things I have always wanted to do with my children keeps my fire lit, this entire ordeal to date has drawn us very close, the WW is now seeing this and trying like mad to equal what I am doing. Still a marathon, thanks all!
Christy, sorry for not responding to you, had a busy weekend with the family(ignored the WW for the most part) To answer your questions, the WW is 100% sure she wants to divorce as she is deep in love with AP(not PA as he lives 2000 miles away) So she is in a full on EA with someone that is most likely married. I do not care anymore about this, time to move on with my life! I am not moving out of my marital home, not until we sell it and I have to move. I am just looking at my options that will be best for me and my children.
Christy, sorry for not responding to you, had a busy weekend with the family(ignored the WW for the most part) To answer your questions, the WW is 100% sure she wants to divorce as she is deep in love with AP(not PA as he lives 2000 miles away) So she is in a full on EA with someone that is most likely married. I do not care anymore about this, time to move on with my life! I am not moving out of my marital home, not until we sell it and I have to move. I am just looking at my options that will be best for me and my children.
Great stuff. You're doing very well. See how it works? She wants divorce but is also noticing how great your new life is going. Keep that up. When she finds out this OM doesn't want to leave his M for her, and is just playing games, expect her to have a change of heart. At that point all the power is yours and you may not want the M back yourself. A little secret here...the power is already yours. You control yourself 100% and can do whatever you want to do. She has zero control over you that you don't give her. I think you're learning that and it'll serve you well.
Just stop that. It's not healthy for your detachment. It's pretty much the opposite of detachment in fact.