Go ahead and make it happen. If OM wants her so bad, then let him step up to the plate. This should give W a serious reality check. Wish I could've done the same to my own W, but with OM having a W of his own, she already knows he would leave her hanging. But you should definitely ask her to leave. The presence of the OM gives these W a sense of hope that makes no sense whatsoever. And it blocks everything you try to do to make the MR right.
Its time for your W to make a decision or at least get rid of OM, while she seriously considers giving your MR a chance. If she is foolish enough to choose OM, then that's her loss. OM is living the fantasy and reality quickly changes everything. Especially when word gets out about your W leaving her family to be with OM. But I do hope it all works out in your favour.
Thank you for the continued support. I am really unsure how to proceed. All I know is that I allowed her to suck me back into the drama but I have been working on detaching again. I am finally getting back to that point of keeping myself into a safe emotional distance.
I have fallen victim to the somewhat pursuing her and I am trying to get back to distancing myself. I see her checking in on me again but I am not allowing myself to fall back into that role. I am keeping any phone call she makes to me short, pleasant and to the point and then end it. I refuse to be just her friend while her affair continues.
I am trying to find inner peace but it is not easy. While I am getting there, I realize I have a lot further to go. Not being around her makes it easier. I continue to work on my 180's and see that they have become routine for me. I am happy and proud of myself for how much I have improved over the past 4 months. I continue to GAL and it helps. I need to work a little harder in that area, Maybe go out more than once a week. I realize that when I do go out I am able to get my mind off of my situation with my W.
I do not know what the cards hold for me but I am trying to be more accepting of the path I need to go down wherever it may take me. I am working on letting go and being able to drop the rope completely. Let her deal with the consequences of her actions. Maybe she will or maybe she won't have a change of heart. I try and remind myself that I am not the only one hurting in this and I need to keep reminding myself of that fact. I don't want to come across as cold while I detach.
I do not post as much as I find when I am on here I allow myself to focus too much on my W. I do keep up on other peoples stitches and pray for the best for all of them.
Quick update to my stitch. I GALed pretty good this weekend and had a great time with friends. My W and I talked a bit on Sunday and she said that she was happy to see me being productive after a long night out. She mentioned that the old me would have rested alot the next day after going out like that. She also said that she likes the new me. We laid on the couch together while she had her hands in my hands. It made me feel good that she has seen the changes that I have gone through and most of all it appears that she is starting to believe that they are real changes.
I have been trying to keep myself with an as if attitude for the past few weeks and it seems as if she is noticing. She has been opening up to me a little more each time. I realize that this is going to be a long journey if we are to try and work on our R. I am trying to find the strength to keep moving forward with or without her. It isn't always easy but I have been journaling the whole time and when I read through my notes I see a slow progression of her coming around to me.
I don't know when or if she will ever fully come around but I do realize that it will take time.
Well today is my W 40th birthday. Got through our 17th anniversary last month, now I just have to get through this day. These events make it difficult to get through the daily drama.
She has been making small steps lately in that she has been going out of her way to help me out. That really hasn't happened in a long time. There are moments where she shows cracks in her rigid exterior but really no emotional connection. Not really expecting one at this point. I realize she has to go through a lot more of her journey before there might even be a chance for us. Don't really know what to say at this point but trying to keep moving forward.
Going to a minor league baseball game on Saturday with S7. It will be a Star Wars themed night with great fireworks. Should be a really good time.
I have been rethinking this after Txhubby's story. It seems maybe staying in the same house is a better option as long as I can handle it and keep myself emotionally detached from the drama. I have been thinking more about the idea around here that this situation has been building for months/years for my W and it will not be fixed overnight. I am willing to put the time and effort into this.
I am still working on me and trying to build a better life for me and my children regardless of what happens. I need to stay focused on that. I don't really get caught up in what my W is doing day to day yet remain open to friendly dialogue when she contacts me. I am going to give it everything I got so if it doesn't work out then I can at least feel I won't second guess myself that I didn't try hard enough.
Only time will tell and for now time is on my side.
I understand all that but it did take Txhubby awhile before he finally was able to do what he had to do. I realize I am not there yet but I am getting better emotionally each week.
