Yes, it was her best friends bachelorette weekend. Her bf from college met her cousin at our wedding and they ended up getting married. She really wanted to come with us, we actually flew to NYC together and I went with her mom and she got on another flight to SC. We talked on the phone multiple times everyday, texted the whole time she was gone. Then we met back in NYC and went to st. maarten for a few days without D. Had fun together but still couldn't fully figure out the emotional connection piece that has been missing.
Good session with DB coach. I feel so much better emotionally now that i don't have feel like i have to do the pursue thing. It was really taking a toll on me. Work has been better, time with my D has been better. I am happy I did the other program, I don't want to beat myself up over having gone in that direction. It made me vulnerable in a way I have never been and had to face constant rejection so no matter what it will ultimately make me a better person and better in what ever relationship I am in, in the future.
For those of you who are DBing do you keep on your wedding ring? I live in the marital house with lots of wedding photos up, should I keep them up? W comes to the house at least once a week to pick up our D so she would notice if I took anything down.
For me- they are not a sad reminder of anything. If anything they are beautiful photos and give me a good reminder of what I am fighting for.
Sunday was the W email saying she wanted to make separation more permanent. I backed off and have gone little contact. W is now calling me everyday and texting. We have not discussed the email. This morning I dropped off D to her before I went to work. I went to coffee place across the street from her apt. She met me over there and pulled up a chair and sat down to tell me her stories about work/life normal stuff we like to talk about. She walked with me in the rain to my car and stood there for awhile before I said I had to go.
Just read P & D - This is going to be hard for me since any little bone I get I jump all over. I want to engage with the story and give advice and try to get the connection I am looking for.
Future Goals: Go on a solo trip this summer when W and D are on vacation (never done this before) Get some nicer clothes that fit - lost about 20 lbs through this order - although it makes me look good Go to a class to learn about transcendental meditation Connect with friends I haven't talked to in awhile Acupuncture once a week Read everyday for fun and growth
Good job man keep it up. Just don't throw it in her face the more it works. Be a mixture between very happy and neutral about your changes around her. My wife came around when she seen me GAL and was truly interested. Asking me where I been, any women there, I look great, etc. The more it worked, the more aggressive I got and it backfired.
Great news though, keep it up!
M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year T 7 Years
