Setbacks are going to happen, learn from them. Maybe it wasn't all bad??
Well it didn't seem that good she still set on her way of doing thugs for her. This is what she replied with I know that this is hard on you and I am really sorry. There is no easy way to do this but I have to do what I feel right is for myself and I am just sorry for what it is doing to you. That is why I don't want you to be there while I am packing up stuff. and I know its hard seeing it... that's why I am trying to get a good amount of time so I can get it done. I hope in time things will get better for you.
W still refuses to talk to me in person, she emailed me yesterday asking if I would be gone today so she could come over and pack more of her stuff I said I would be gone for a few hours. This morning I texted her and asked if she could come over a few mins early so we could talk she said she's not that place to just talk and hang, I said it wouldn't be talk about us just talk. She said maybe but she never showed. So it's frustrating but what can I do, I guess completely stop contacting her. But it's hard and she's almost willing to talk in person but still scared to or affraid or something idk
no matter how much of this is her hormones or on you
stop pursuing.
Later on MAYBE THEN, but not now.
Have you gotten other of the DB books yet?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
no matter how much of this is her hormones or on you
stop pursuing.
Later on MAYBE THEN, but not now.
Have you gotten other of the DB books yet?
I have been reading the DR book, I know I must stop but sometimes my emotions still get the best of me. I really need to detach also, she acts like she absolutely hates me but I guess that's what happens with a hardened heart......
Well it didn't seem that good she still set on her way of doing thugs for her. This is what she replied with I know that this is hard on you and I am really sorry. There is no easy way to do this but I have to do what I feel right is for myself and I am just sorry for what it is doing to you. That is why I don't want you to be there while I am packing up stuff. and I know its hard seeing it... that's why I am trying to get a good amount of time so I can get it done. I hope in time things will get better for you.
Should this fall into he not believing what she says? Cause she's making it sound like she's already moved on and over it? Seems incredibly cold
at one point my h and I did reconcile. It took months (over a year) before I could have a conversation not involving the R, or asking "WHY??" etc. Which usually led to fights.
Then another year of GAL & detachment and though we reconciled, we did not piece well. But the recon alone took 2 years.
Point is, your timeline is a...crazy rushed. Seriously.
Sometimes we push for certainty when there is NO certainty yet,
and we force an answer we don't really want, just to "know" the answer.
Back off, give her space, be upbeat but not over the top.
Act as if you are resigned to her tragic decision (tragic for her, too, not just you).
You do Not want pity, you do not want to guilt her (which always fails anyhow)
What are you doing to Get A Life?
It's the only way to detach and
detachment is not just for keeping our sanity. It's also what makes us happier and in time, a lot more attractive as potential partners.
You are very early in this process. And this Is a marathon, not a sprint.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
at one point my h and I did reconcile. It took months (over a year) before I could have a conversation not involving the R, or asking "WHY??" etc. Which usually led to fights.
Then another year of GAL & detachment and though we reconciled, we did not piece well. But the recon alone took 2 years.
Point is, your timeline is a...crazy rushed. Seriously.
Sometimes we push for certainty when there is NO certainty yet,
and we force an answer we don't really want, just to "know" the answer.
Back off, give her space, be upbeat but not over the top.
Act as if you are resigned to her tragic decision (tragic for her, too, not just you).
You do Not want pity, you do not want to guilt her (which always fails anyhow)
What are you doing to Get A Life?
It's the only way to detach and
detachment is not just for keeping our sanity. It's also what makes us happier and in time, a lot more attractive as potential partners.
You are very early in this process. And this Is a marathon, not a sprint.
Make sense?
I know I'm still in panic and disbelief mode I think cause of how far out of the blue this was to me...I guess it just seems to me that's she's rushing it to end by so quickly packing up and moving all her stuff. So that makes me feel at times that I have to do something right now!!! Which I DO know it's NOT what need to do. I didn't contact her for 5 days and then she contacted me about bills and some bs small talk just to make it civil. So I'm back to NC now.
Things I've been doing to GAL... well I've been having friends over during the weekends and going to church, mountain biking, and reading reading and more reading about how to get my wife back but that's not really GAL!
So do you think I should delete her from my Facebook? And just delete Facebook completely right now cause it's hard to not look at her page and wonder what she's doing and that's not healthy for me right now
you don't have to delete her. You can block her without her even knowing.
Blocking my h was the one of first healthy things I did for myself, and I have spared myself intense pain.
Why on earth would I need to see that? It's a highlight reel and you are never sure if it's true, or if it is manipulation anyhow. Who needs that?
If & when she wants to reach out to you, she can pick up a phone.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
