Suprisingly, I am doing better than I thought I would. One of the girls I work with told me that the women in our company have caught wind that I'm single and some of them want to ask me out.
I have ZERO intentions of dating anytime soon but the ego boost from hearing that was much needed.
Back to the gym tonight.
You'll get back on the horse soon and when you do, you'll love it. Stay the course.
Suprisingly, I am doing better than I thought I would.
We're in a similar place (though I'm on the second time) and I was also shocked at how well I'm doing.
Two things have helped: 1- going through this once already, and 2- knowing it's HIM, not me
(Disclaimer with #2: that doesn't mean he doesn't have valid issues about the relationship)
The second one has been a relief, because it means I can't slip into my rejection/abandonment issues, which is what causes me the most pain.
Still, it hasn't been easy. I'm at the point where many of my support network seem to think I'm fine, and have stopped checking in. I'm not fine.
I also watched a movie that ended up much more "star crossed lovers" than I'd anticipated, and I had a sobbing session when it ended.
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One of the girls I work with told me that the women in our company have caught wind that I'm single and some of them want to ask me out.
OoooooOOOOOoooooo. Thornton's a hot property, eh?
Take it slow. I know you're going to, but remember that you get yourself into trouble when you rush in, even if it's not a committed relationship (meaning you just develop a crush). Your "people picker" needs some work, and rushing means that you're picking someone out of habit, and your habits are no good for you.
Sending you positives. Glad you decided to sit with your emotions and not hide from them.
There do come times when we have to begin our healing process (and we all backslide there too). And we need to remind ourselves that it's Our job to heal, not someone else or someone new.
God, how tempting it would be to just get into a new R and act as if the past X years were way in the past and not have to look at that or our roles in it
or how we repeat patterns,
but that's not an authentic healthy r, is it? And inauthentic r's are not going to be part of our futures, are they?
And we will not put all our eggs in another person's basket. We won't put our happiness onto their shoulders
and we will be rocks for our children...
all of this^^^ takes time AND GAL and truly, Thornton I think a lot of the issues you and IC have identified
with the introversion and not liking to socialize much and feeling stuck and also believing you cannot be whole or happy without an unstable r in your life
are all related, aren't they?
Hence the many suggestions by others to get out and socialize. I was amazed your meet up group was at a bar.
I'm going to one this Sunday and it's a discussion group that meets every Sunday to talk about current events or things like "Is War Inevitable?"
There are films groups if you feel too pressed in discussion groups.
Bowling leagues, team sports for people over 40, (or 50), and simply a lot of things to join and do if you look.
Look online in your area, b/c I think you'll find something you are curious about or always wanted to do or wondered if you could, or want to overcome
*I had to take a math class to qualify for teaching and believe me, that was a challenge for my brain but it delighted me to pass it in a way that almost makes me laugh b/c it was high school math but in MY real life, I never used algebra!! I cannot claim it was fun to study math, okay?
But it felt solidifying and encouraging to my self esteem.
I say all this^^^ and so do others, b/c I firmly believe that GAL will lessen your pain.
Inertia is a powerful force, sometimes almost a friend. But it always keeps you stuck.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I'm hanging in there. There are times that I'm really lonely, but I have been able to switch gears after a little while.
GAL hasn't been going well because I've been sick with a nasty head cold. Hopefully, I will feel better by the weekend so I can get out and do some things.
