I have been hanging in there. I have not really posted anything the past 2 weeks because I have been really detaching myself from the situation and coming to this board actually kept me focused too much on my W an our situation.
Interesting enough, my W actually talked a bit about our R this weekend. She asked me what happens next. I told her that I am unsure but I know we can not keep living the way we are currently. I asked her what does she want to do and she said she doesn't know what she wants. This was a first because prior to this she seemed like she definitely wanted out.
She made a comment about how she doesn't trust me yet. She sees that I am very different than who I was prior and she thinks that I will revert at some point. I told her I understood her concerns and that I said I have been working on myself to become an all around better man and that I wasn't doing everything just to try and get her back. I said I am working on me for me and that is something I need to do regardless of what happens. I told her that she needs to figure out what she wants and only she can decide that for herself.
I explained that I have no set timeline in my head about our future and that right now I am focused on our D17 transition into college. I said we definitely need to talk about this again and maybe a few more times. This is not any easy decision and that when she is ready to discuss further to let me know so we can make time to talk uninterrupted.
The rest of the weekend went by with her being happy then sad. She would make comments about life one way and then she would make comments about what we should get for the house down the road. I can tell she is conflicted and a lot is going through her mind. Like I said, this is the first time I can actually see her not sure of what she wants.
My question to you is how do I proceed and how should I handle our next conversation? I really was not ready for this talk as she caught me by surprise when she brought it up. I don't know if I handled it properly but I spoke calmly to her and let her do most of the taking. I am going to continue working on detaching because it has helped me keep the focus on myself. I see we might be at a turning point in our R and it can go either way, I just want to be prepared for the next time.
