How you treat her and everyone else for that matter should be based on how you want to treat them and not about how they deserve to be treated. Make it about you with no motive to influence W.
Best wishes
I love this. It kind of answered why I am good to exH and his OWW and we get along for the most part. Because I treat them not as they deserve, but as I chose to treat other people.
You cleared something up for me that has been nagging at me, Roist. Sometimes I say in a little voice int he back of my head "they don't deserve to be treated so well by me" but it comes naturally to do so. because I treat others how I want to treat them.
Loos like you've placed healthy boundaries and are protecting your heart. How's it been going lately, tell me about your week. (sips chai with weird moisturizing mask on my face)
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
Just seeing how you are? I popped into a book shop by London Bridge today and saw 'The Chimp Paradox' in the psychology section. I remembered you mentioning it, so picked it up.
Hope you're well, chap.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
Thanks for checking in. I am okay. Struggling at times but mostly good. Boundaries - keeping STBXW at a distance - seem to help but the bitter/sweet cycle crops up from time to time. It's a psychological problem my STBXW has and I just need to stay vigilan when we have contact. I am trying to focus on me and the kids as much as possible and move on now and enjoy life as much as I can. Yes I have down days but they are fairly rare.
Surfer.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
All you can do is focus on you and the kids. Sounds like there are still some struggles you're facing though. I hope you're having success in getting through them. This stuff can be very rough at times, regardless of where you are on your journey. Stay strong my friend and don't be a stranger!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Brother! How have you been? I've missed you! What kind of behaviors has your STBXW been displaying? Maybe we all can brain storm so you can get the results you want, like boundaries she respects.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
Hey mate, good to hear from you. Hope work and the home life are going well. Keep us posted from time to time on how you're getting on and how your interactions with W are going.
Take care.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
