Yes sir, I did, and yes sir, that's my little girl. I'll go so far as to say that even though I wasn't there in body when she was made, I was surely there in spirit.
Adopting her was the best decision I've ever made in my life. Being a father is the best, most challenging, most rewarding thing that I've ever done.
What I am saying is that I didn't have this thrust upon me. I CHOSE this. I think that makes my perspective a little different. I love her, dearly. IF I didn't have her in my life, I don't know that I would come through that a whole person, if at all.
Some children are planned. Some children are unplanned. And SOME children enter your heart through nothing more than sheer force of love. She's the third kind.
To put it another way: there is no one as zealous as a convert.
L says that time is not our enemy here, but there's no upside to letting this go too long. L also says that we have this, and if she makes this into a fight it won't matter.
We're not telling her this, but she has until next Friday to sign voluntarily. Failing that, she'll be served and we'll see what happens next.
So... D had a field trip yesterday. W was supposed to go, and told D she was going to. School told me she didn't show. She did text me asking if she could grab D after school, and I told her, "well, I've been encouraging you to do this for MONTHS, so of course it's ok."
After dinner, she dropped her off pretty much as early as she could. All I said to her was, "after the conversation we had the other day, you do THIS?" She got angry, turned around, and walked away.
I'm pissed. D didn't show it at school. Didn't say anything to W. But when I got he out of the car, in front of both of us, she just looked at me and said, "Daddy, why didn't mommy come on my field trip today?"
And I'm supposed to agree to let her spend all summer like this?
Don't dump on her. You are very fast to point the finger. I know you would like to yell at her to take away from your pain, but it's a dead end.
Try not to escalate matters. Your hissy display (twice) accomplished nothing and only pissed her off and it sure as hell did not make you feel any better (in fact, you will probably reheat this episode several times in your head tonight and in the next couple of days).
Regarding the summer you know my position. PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR POSITION WITH THE D AND DO NOT LET HER SCREW YOU OVER. SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER AS WELL AND SHE DESERVES 50% YOU AND 50% HER.
I'm pissed. D didn't show it at school. Didn't say anything to W. But when I got he out of the car, in front of both of us, she just looked at me and said, "Daddy, why didn't mommy come on my field trip today?"
That is a tough to hear... However, I would still have to agree with Vapo and Kaizen. No need to bring it up to the W cause it will only lead to an argument. How did you respond to D's question or did W jump in and answer?
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And I'm supposed to agree to let her spend all summer like this?
I know summer is right around the corner, but maybe start a calendar of the days you have D, what you cook for her, what you buy for her, events you attend, that day you took off of work to be with her, etc, etc. It may help you legally in getting joint custody.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
I admit it was a bit of a hissy fit. But I'm not hurting over it. I'm worried about D. Her mom needs to be PRESENT, not this unreliable whatever she's doing. She complains she doesn't and won't get to see her, and then bails on her after she makes a commitment? WTF? She didn't even pick her up from school today, I had to, and MIL is supposed to be coming to get her at the house.
She doesn't work! She doesn't do ANYTHING except sit on her butt and play video games. She doesn't have time for our child. How am I NOT supposed to react poorly to this?
That is a tough to hear... However, I would still have to agree with Vapo and Kaizen. No need to bring it up to the W cause it will only lead to an argument. How did you respond to D's question or did W jump in and answer?
W didn't say a damn thing. I told D that mommy wasn't feeling well, which was the excuse. They were supposed to go to Dollywood last weekend. W told D last thursday night on the phone at bedtime they were going to do that. I bought them both season passes so they could spend time like that, even make sure they didn't have to pay for parking. They didn't go, W's excuse was that MIL didn't want to go, as if that should matter.
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I know summer is right around the corner, but maybe start a calendar of the days you have D, what you cook for her, what you buy for her, events you attend, that day you took off of work to be with her, etc, etc. It may help you legally in getting joint custody.
I''m not worried about joint custody at this point. L tells me this is a slam dunk. I just want her to step up and do her part in taking care of our kid. She's making promises and not keeping them. D doesn't deserve this.
In my opinion, start recording these things. Note when she doesnt take on her responsibility as a parent. Then when she asks for the summer, your lawyer can show why she doesnt deserve it.
Telling her what she needs to do or not do isnt going to get you anywhere.
