Hi Own It! I like your name and hope you'll lead me when you're available and treat me with "tough love'; It's a requirement for me. Pity has never been effective. I need for folks to tell me to "own it" so I can be reminded that I will always be a better person if I'm learning valuable lessons in life. So...bring it! Thank you in advance!
Thank you Kml, Thank you for responding. I feel like I've been very verbal with my financial expectations from H; for now anyway. I agreed to what he offered bc it seemed fair enough. The thing is that I am the one who keeps bringing up divorce. I don't even know if I mean it, or not. My gut tells me one thing and my heart tells me another. I'm sure that's why he's just as confused as I am. I've handled too many situations with anger and resentment. He's spiteful by nature, so this has multiplied by a thousand since MLC. My feelings of him being with OW hits me like a ton of bricks and I start in. I'm so obnoxious and then he reacts the same, of course. He says "you'll never change so it doesn't matter how much I love you, it's useless." That's SO frustrating bc of his horrible behavior toward me as of late. What do they miss in MLC land?? All sense of self?? It's maddening and I the only way I'm going to be able to stop is NC. I know this now. It's nothing but insanity in MLC land it ain't no where I want to be a part of anymore. It's too much for the strongest person to deal with. I can do this!!
Hey Bttrfly! Thank for stopping by!! I adore you! No, I have read DR but will be very soon. I'm stubborn in the way that I like to use my own techniques in life but I've figured out that it's actually my manipulations that have not served me well, I guess I didn't realize that's what I've been doing...?? Stupid is..is stupid does. I'm learning!!
Hi Christy,, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I wonder if the coaching cost anything. I would love it but I'm not able to release any funds at this time. I'm too scared of the outcome!
See an attorney anyway. Unless you are a divorce attorney yourself it is very unlikely that you know all the things that would make a fair legal settlement, and it would be highly unusual for him to be making an offer that truly benefits you. Knowledge is power. Don't sign anything without running it past a lawyer.
Nee, you are putting too much of this on you. It takes two people to sink a marriage. I have not been sure from day 1 whether I want a divorce or not. What I have accepted is that I have to have fight for the marriage for the time being because my H is certainly not in the place to do so. Later on, I can make decisions (if that is even an option) when there is time for clarity and thought. You don't have to know anything now. What you do need to do is read the book and keep your mouth shut. Unless you are 100% certain you want a divorce, do not go down that path with him.
I've read all that at least twice. Lol No kidding. I've been on here since 3/16 and have spent SO many hours reading what you all have said and then reading them again. I still screw up over and over when it comes to my emotions and the OW. It's overwhelming sometimes but I'm getting better at it. I try to keep myself very busy, so that helps. I know you all have seen and heard it enough to where I don't really have to express into words what my H says from day to day. It's like dealing with a 10 year old with no respect whatsoever. I waited too long to read about boundaries and let him get away with some awful stuff. No longer on that playing field so that's one less thing to worry about. Still, he gets a little rough sometimes but I put him in check real quick like.
Thank you in advance!
