I agree w/bttrfly...treat everyone just as you always have. Do not discuss what is going on w/your spouse w/his family. Blood is always thicker than water. Let them figure things out for themselves.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you Job, Bttrfly and Skyhigh for your responses.
I was conflicted about how to handle the visit. On the one hand, it his sister and he has fired me from the job of wife, so I figured I should sit back and drop the reigns. But you all make good points. So I am off to the grocery store and doing some laundry before she arrives.
Our garage door broke. Ugh. I had pulled out of the garage and the remote wouldn't close the door. Normally, I would have called H and asked him what to do. Nope. Not anymore. I found a video on Youtube and figured out how to manually close it.
I felt proud of myself for figuring it out. Fairly simple thing, I know. But I did it. I don't need no stinkin' husband. Lol!
Check the batteries in your remote and maybe replace them. Also, check the sensors on your door. You could have a spider/bug or a piece of dirt that is covering one of the sensor eyes.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for the tip Job. When I checked I realized the cables that pull the door up and down are shot. So new garage door it is. My laptop's motherboard is fried and I need new one of those too. Ugh. When it rains, it pours.
Sister-in-law arrived safely yesterday. We had dinner together, without H as he was working.
H and I had a brief exchange about the sleeping arrangements. I offered sister-in-law my room (the guest room) and I slept on the couch (which I actually don't mind). H was angry because he wanted sister-in-law to sleep in the master bedroom and H would sleep on the couch. I didn't want this because I get up at 4:45 in the morning and me coming and going from the master bath would be disruptive to sister-in-law. H offered me the master bedroom and he would sleep on the couch, but I am not sleeping on that bed.
He hates sleeping on the couch as it hurts his back. He wants to be a martyr and show sister-in-law what a great guy he is for sacrificing himself. No way am I gonna participate in that show.
When he brought it up he was seething and as usual, brought it up as I was walking out of the room. He hasn't moved from his place in the tunnel one bit.
He has also been father of the year. Doting on S and lavishing attention on him. It makes me sick to see this. It's so artificial.
Through it all I am maintaining my equilibrium and not reacting. It's business as usual.
There is a part of me that more and more says, hey OW, you want him? You can have him.
Check to see if your cables can be replaced since money is a bit tight for you. There are companies out there that will do repairs on garage doors and sometimes it is far cheaper to go this route rather than purchasing new doors.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It really is funny how when you finally begin to detach the feelings of do I really even want this guy start popping up from time to time. I think I'm most sick of the games (like feigning interest in the kids or posting crap on FB trying to get my attention). The more authentic your own life becomes (no longer covering up a bad marriage for example) the less you tolerate this kind of thing. Congrats to you on the garage door! I have had many of those moments in the last few months and they are empowering. My D13 has been installing things around the house and I see the confidence this has given him too.
