WAW and the Big D

[Bdog37]

I needed to know all the details at first. Thought that the only way we would be able to work on the M and move forward was to know she wasn't lying to me anymore. However, now since neither of us want to reconcile I think I should have spared myself from learning all the details. Didn't do me any good, but have a bunch of sleepless nights.

Now you see why my view of cheaters is what it is. Lowest form there is. What I can't get is why people want them back after such. Maybe our own selfish reasons need to be examined...

For real brother! Not sure how anyone can do that to someone they loved?? Think we want them back cause we want our old M back before the A. However, that type of betrayal is very difficult to deal with and get over. There are couples who move past it and go on to have very healthy relationships, but it takes a lot of work and I personally wouldn't want to be M to someone who can do that to their S.

[Dawgs]

If your children love and believe in her, and she wants to be part of their lives, then I'm not so sure about full custody. I could have gotten it and then some, but at the end of the day I realized it was about the kids and not my feelings toward the ex.

[Bdog37]

I could have gotten it and then some, but at the end of the day I realized it was about the kids and not my feelings toward the ex.

^^^ So true brother...so true. I guess a few days a week with their mom is better then none cause I know they truly do love her.

[Bdog37]

Journaling/venting

Good Day my friends! Yet another week (last week) were the EW gave up a few of her scheduled days with the kids to be with OM2. They went out of town together again so luckily I had my girls a few extra days!

What a great week I had with them as well and this week is going to be just as fun! Going to take them to see Beauty and the Beast tomorrow so I'm excited about that!! Over the weekend I invited their friends and some neighborhood girls over so my house was packed with kids lol. My little ones loved hosting so I will for sure be scheduling more play dates for them. All the parents thanked me as well for giving them a little time off so it was a win win sitch for everyone.

The Big D starts this Friday. I have sent pretty much all the info I could to my L so I believe he is prepared to get underway. I can honestly say that 4 months ago I would be crying while sharing this news, but today.....I couldn't be happier. I have detached so much from this woman and our M that I can't find anymore love for her. Believe me, I have searched. Since it was warm out over the weekend I did some Spring cleaning and found some old picture of us before we had kids. A lot of pictures where we were traveling, having a good time, and I didn't feel a shred of sadness. I actually threw them away and felt relieved after doing so. Like I was getting rid of her "ghost" in some ways.

I think a lot of this stems from the fact of who she has become. I really don't think I could ever love her again. Its weird that I feel this way. Especially since it hasn't been that long. I can't even remember the last time I shed a tear over her or caught myself thinking about her?? I don't know, but I am much more happier then I was a few short months ago.

I joined a cooking class and found out that I actually really enjoy cooking lol. I have taking a much bigger role in my daughter's after school programs and help out when I can. My oldest also joined Girl Scouts so I have been volunteering there every Tuesday. I am going to Wisconsin this weekend to go to my first Cubs game with friends. Early next month I plan on taking my girls to Indiana for a little road trip to visit some family. I'm back into reading books!! I used to love to read and just started Game of Thrones. I also started a small remodeling project in the house cause I'm hosting a painting party in a couple weeks. And somehow my younger sister wants me to fit in guitar lessons for my niece. On top of all this I take care of the girls 5 days a week, keep up on the house cleaning duties, do the grocery shopping, and work!

Think things are going really, really good right now for me. I am standing on my own 2 feet and it has never felt better. Funny, but the EW told me months ago that I would be the one to jump into a relationship as soon as she left. Well she is right and as corny as this sounds I did jump into a relationship... a relationship with myself! I respect myself too much to go back now so onward and upward!

I only hope that others on here can someday find peace with their own sitch as well. Good luck my friends!

[doodler]

I only hope that others on here can someday find peace with their own sitch as well. Good luck my friends!

SAL27,

Totally awesome! I'm glad you're staying busy and having a lot of fun, particularly with your children.

Just be careful with that relationship with yourself. I did that for a few months and nearly went blind.

[Thornton]

^^^ Hahaha!

[Bdog37]

doodler.... I know a lot of this isn't funny, but d*** does your posts make me laugh sometimes!! Hahahaha, love it!!!!

Of course I would rather be blind then be in a relationship with anyone like my EW lmao.

[leahsue]

You guys crack me up!
SAL27, what an uplifting post! It's so good to see someone following the principles here, and watching it unfold like yours has done. Some get the spouse back, and some don't, but almost everyone grows and likes themselves more, on down the road, regardless of the marriage outcome. I'm so proud of you!

[Bdog37]

Wow,

Sometimes when things are going so good you just start to question it.

Yesterday I get pulled into the bosses office and was told I was getting a 20% raise. I've been with the same company for over 15 years now so he went on about what a valuable employee I am.

Then later that night I took my girls to go see Beauty and the Beast. Needless to say we all loved the movie and afterward we went back to the house to play "Beauty and the Beast". I was the beast of course lol. Good times!

When I picked the girls up my oldest told me that my youngest just got done crying. I asked her why and she said because she "missed her daddy"....melted my heart. I gave her a big hug and a kiss before we left.

Texted the EW about wanting more time with the as well (I currently get them 5/7 days a week and every other weekend). She listed a bunch of dates that she has "plans" for already so it looks like I'm going to be spending much more time with them. EW told me that I can have more days and weekends with the kids during the summer as well and I totally agreed. She just asked for Mother's Day and I told her that it was a given. From the sound of it though I will basically be having them weeks at a time now. Wonderful news all around and this week has been another great week so far!

Feeling blessed right now! Court with the EW begins tomorrow and "I ain't even mad". Honestly, I'm just ready to get the ball rolling. I have been talking to the OW that I met quite frequently now. We have both agreed to take things very slow with the current situation, but I can actually see myself in a relationship with her. Been on some friendly dates together so its very nice to have those butterfly feelings about someone again.

4 months ago I never pictured myself here, but I've made the most of the situation that I was dealt. I thought I would never be happy again. I thought detaching from the EW was impossible and I would go on for years lonely and missing her. I can truly say that I'm in a much better place right now and happier than I was such a short time ago.

Hang in there friends, things will get better!!

[Dawgs]

Yesterday I get pulled into the bosses office and was told I was getting a 20% raise.

Awesome!

However, I'd hold off on that until after the divorce (if you do, that is...). Just sayin...