I think it's time to think about casually dating if or when you are ready to close the door on your marriage. However, until or unless that point comes I would stick to doing things which are more social and less potentially complicated..
There is plenty of opportunity to get out and about looking attractive, doing interesting new things and meeting others without causing potential hurt to yourself or to a new woman by getting involved before you are truly ready to leave your marriage behind.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I think it's time to think about casually dating if or when you are ready to close the door on your marriage. However, until or unless that point comes I would stick to doing things which are more social and less potentially complicated..
There is plenty of opportunity to get out and about looking attractive, doing interesting new things and meeting others without causing potential hurt to yourself or to a new woman by getting involved before you are truly ready to leave your marriage behind.
Sure there are but none of them will convince a wayward spouse they might lose you. Attention from the opposite sex will. Plus, I didn't say dating. Everyone here seems to jump right to that conclusion as if men and women can't go do something social without romance entering into it. I'm saying just casual hangouts, coffee. Not dating. Nothing serious. A few people right here have taken that advice and came back to say it made them feel awesome and it worked on their spouse. Going to the gym doesn't make a wayward spouse fear losing you. Going to coffee with a member of the opposite sex does.
I think it's time to think about casually dating if or when you are ready to close the door on your marriage. However, until or unless that point comes I would stick to doing things which are more social and less potentially complicated..
There is plenty of opportunity to get out and about looking attractive, doing interesting new things and meeting others without causing potential hurt to yourself or to a new woman by getting involved before you are truly ready to leave your marriage behind.
Sure there are but none of them will convince a wayward spouse they might lose you. Attention from the opposite sex will. Plus, I didn't say dating. Everyone here seems to jump right to that conclusion as if men and women can't go do something social without romance entering into it. I'm saying just casual hangouts, coffee. Not dating. Nothing serious. A few people right here have taken that advice and came back to say it made them feel awesome and it worked on their spouse. Going to the gym doesn't make a wayward spouse fear losing you. Going to coffee with a member of the opposite sex does.
Hi Lex23,
Spending time with another female isn't a one size fits all solution/suggestion. What might be ok for one, would be devastating for another.
This would be best answered by your DB Coach on whether or not this is good for you and your specific situation.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
his isn't a one size fits all s
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
3 more weeks of semi-dark. wife seems to have become comfortable with it. she doesn't ask for detail on what I am up to and she has stopped coming to bed altogether. some nights she stays up late painting and other nights she sleeps in S4 bed. communication is minimal. I stopped all spying but I'm sure she is still trying to close the deal with celeb. My emotional state is still pretty good. I was sad a few days but mostly I am spending time with kids and getting out a few times a week for fun. I don't think I am going to go much longer without confronting her about her affair. DB coach said not to confront yet but I'm starting to feel more and more like I have no chance unless I bring everything into the light. I am starting to increasingly feel like I could really walk away if we didn't have kids.
she doesn't ask for detail on what I am up to and she has stopped coming to bed altogether.
That speaks volumes
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Almost another month went by with no changes. I sleep on my own and am doing well with GAL. I am feeling pretty good overall. If I didn't have kids then I would let W go at this point. But, I do have kids and she is still their mom. What a tough situation. The only other notable thing is that after 3 months of coldness W got me a birthday present and acted like everything was fine. How weird is that?
If I didn't have kids then I would let W go at this point.
Can you expound on this? What do you mean, 'let her go'?
I mean mentally. I am prepared for life on my own. If we had no kids then I would probably divorce her. But, my family is more important than my individual life so I plan to let this go on as long as she continues to be a good mother.
my family is more important than my individual life so I plan to let this go on as long as she continues to be a good mother.
I'm very sympathetic to your philosophy, and have felt similarly, to endure a problematic marriage for the sake of my kids.
I'm not trying to dissuade you from that position. That's for you to decide. But I do think that somehow things will come to a head. It could be next week, it could be months from now. In the mean time I hope you maintain your own emotional health and your integrity and dignity. And when things do boil over, I hope you will be as emotionally prepared as you can be.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
I'm very sympathetic to your philosophy, and have felt similarly, to endure a problematic marriage for the sake of my kids.
I would have been more than happy done this. More than. See, she never exhibited any signs of being unhappy - no arguing, nothing. DB was out of the freaking blue in so many ways. That's one reason why my head was spinning for so long. So yeah, I'd have stayed.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
