Ok, i hate to be a stick-in-the-mud as the love train leaves the station but this is a forum for us to say what we think...toss it in the trash if you like. I am so happy that you have found someone who seems to mesh so well with you...honest, I am! But when I read how quickly and all encompassing he seems to be...I feel overwhelmed and don't even know him! That said, my shrink once said that getting really involved quickly does not seem to be an issue when two people are on the same wave length but it's when one is jumping in with both feet and the other is still sticking his/her toe in the water that it becomes a problem. So, I'm on your side and pulling for you G, but also feel a bit taken aback by his speed and excessive enthusiasm...maybe that's just me. Btw, I hope you take this opportunity to discuss ageism with your daughter...it's connection, not age that matters Keep us updated.
I understand where you are coming from. I do not feel like he is excessive at all. I think he is just that kind of guy. Remember, he is single and not tied down, so he can spend some more time with me. He works every 4th day. Excessive enthusiasm would normally scare me away, but its not, so I don't think it's excessive. We were just talking open and honestly and it was refreshing to have a conversation where someone isn't trying to toally deny their feelings.
And don't you worry, We had a very good convo about ageism. I said it's about how you treat and respect eachother and age doesn't decide that.
Sorry, I couldn't resist. I love being a dad, and if I were younger and remarried, I'd certainly leap at the opportunity to have another child.
I discussed this in length with my best friend. I have always wanted another child.
My big resistance is from the trauma of my ex leaving me when our daughter was an infant. I fear that horribly. Something I am trying to work through to see how I feel after I do work through that.
Something I am trying to work through to see how I feel after I do work through that
Mouthful, for sure.
This fear you mentioned - could it raise its head in your relationship in another form?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
G, you certainly have a better feel for what's going on than I do. I was remembering back a few years when I first started dating SDA Lady, it was obvious there was a strong connection but when Valentine's Day came up, after about our third week of dating, I was unsure of what to do. After three dates she wasn't really my "girlfriend" but I wanted to show recognition for our feelings...whew. I ended up taking her to a play (I already had tickets), out for dinner and gave her a nice basket of fruit flavoured truffles (she loved fruit)...no wine, neither of us drank lol. So...maybe he's not so overboard When you get that feeling it's so nice. Enjoy! Btw, with Voldy on the first Valentine's Day after we got married (in December) i bought her cookbooks. No wonder she eventually ditched me...what a ditz lol
I have a very good friend who is 18 1/2 years older than her husband. They've been married for a long time and they are still going strong and devoted to one another. Age is just a number. There is nothing wrong in dating someone younger. Enjoy the attention and companionship. Don't sweat the small stuff!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well he might be younger than you but he is still biologically old enough to be your daughters father. Whats the big deal?
I say go for it.
Happy for you!
Very good point! And I can't be his father, so it's all good! And thank you JOb. I'm realizing so much how age is just a number.
I could go on today about the things we discussed but I did find out he has dated an older woman with kids. There was one other in the past, and it was a pretty serious relationship. he said he was hesitant to tell me because he was afraid I was going to think it was his MO. Actually, it comforted me, because it is not the first time dealing with a single mom and he knows what he is getting into. We spoke a lot about our feelings and he even said I don't want you to think I'm crazy, I don't want you t o get worried by my excitement, but I just have this comfortable ease and it fels like I 've known you much longer. It's new to him. We spoke about it for a long time. We are very much on the same wavelength with it.
We did speak about the future of kids.That other woman couldn't have anymore. He said it wasn't why they broke up and not the dealbreaker. I did explain it wasn't particularly in my plans to have anymore. I said I can't say for sure that I am not going to have anymore, and I can't say for sure that I am. I told him I am working on trying to figure out if it is my trauma that makes me feel this way, or I am just done with having kids. he was very understanding.
I've doing a lot of hard thinking about the warnings of his enthusiasm and the such. I've spent my life with lack of enthusiasm from me, including my own ex husband. They just kind of liked me there. It was about their agenda. They could take or leave me. Ex-NG I believe was enthusiastic, but in the end, that was just words, and I learned that. This one would certainly go out of the way for me, no doubt. I can't sit here and say everything is a red flag. because right now my gut isn't getting bad feelings at all. I think I deserve to enjoy someone who is really into me and shows it for once. I am really into him too. And not just because he is in to me. We can just talk and talk for hours, we have fun together, we certainly can laugh together, we like a similar level of affection, we are both willing to try different things and have a good time. It's just a good connection. So I'm gonna enjoy it!
Keep us updated. 
