My kids still believe in their mom. I have always said that one day when they ask that I will tell them the truth. I can't shatter their world as she has.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
So here is an off the wall question - why is it that when its the ex's turn to have the kids, the time leading up to that passes by much faster? I do not like the thought of them leaving me - not even for a day.
This just bites.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
My kids still believe in their mom. I have always said that one day when they ask that I will tell them the truth. I can't shatter their world as she has.
You know, it helps if you actually TYPE what you were going to say before you hit the submit button. Duh! I guess it is going to be that kind of Monday.
Anyway, what I intended to say the first time is that in some ways, I think it is probably a good thing that your kids still believe in their mom. They are still young. As I'm sure you well know, since you sound like a really good dad, kids need to be shielded from all of the "adult" stuff that happens.
My daughters were older when their dad and I divorced (21, 23 and 25) and in some ways, that was harder because they were so much more aware of things than younger kids are. But even at their age, I'm VERY careful to this day to not say anything negative about their dad, because he is their dad and they need to deal with him on their own terms and not have my negative (and believe me I have some VERY negative thoughts on what a douche bag he is) attitude clouding their opinion. Funny thing is, though, that they all see their dad for who he is and I think that is why, despite the fact that I'm just their step-mom, they still have a very close relationship with me. They have all even come out and said they have some very harsh feelings toward their dad for how our D went down.
I think the thing you have going for you, at least from my assumption based on your postings, is that you are a good dad and you know what your kids need. Unfortunately, not all parents (and I'm going to say both moms and dads here, not just dads) are "part-time" parents that really don't give a lot of thought to what the kids need.
But, then again, that is just all my opinion....for whatever that is worth to you. LOL That and a dollar will get you a cheap cup of coffee at any MickeyD's.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I think the thing you have going for you, at least from my assumption based on your postings, is that you are a good dad and you know what your kids need. Unfortunately, not all parents (and I'm going to say both moms and dads here, not just dads) are "part-time" parents that really don't give a lot of thought to what the kids need.
Thank you. My lawyer referred to the ex as what they call Disney moms, because want the fun but not all the work. Mine doesn't use her allotted time with them as it is. I do think that in her mind she thinks she is doing the right thing.
However, I am starting to see some signs of parental alienation. I've asked my lawyer and he said my hands are tied until she up and does something out of line. Mine are so young, that they believe her. They've come back and asked questions that they think is innocent. However, if I ever do ask about it they sort of clam up. I do think that the one time I called her out that she has been much more hidden.
Who knows.
I find that pain and all has shifted from her to what she is doing to the children. I just want to shield them as much as possible.
There is one great fear, though. I'm afraid that something may trigger in her to either revert or bring someone around them that may do bad things to them. Ugh. If that were to happen, I'd imagine I'd be in jail.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
All I can say is hang in there. It really sounds as though you are on top of everything as best you can be and that shows your true love for and dedication to your children. I'm sorry their mom doesn't show that same level of dedication and hope that they don't suffer in the future, but hopefully they are still young enough and resilient enough to be able to cope as they get older.
A stable parent is a good thing and you definitely seem to be that. Keep on keeping on, my friend. Hopefully it won't come to prison time for you, but if it did, it would totally be understandable.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Thank you for the kind words. I try so hard for them. Honestly, I'm scared for them. I truly am scared for them. I don't know how to make it better.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
We ended up skyping for almost an hour and a half last night. I'm still on the fence on what to do about her. Maybe its not so much as about her as dealing with my own things. Maybe it's a good thing that she lives where she does. Just let whatever happen, happen. Who knows.
It's refreshing to be able to talk all that time with someone about anything under sun, yet sometimes nothing at all. Kind of reminds me of that time we went to Basil's and completely shut the place down. Or the time after one of our dates where she packed a picnic breakfast and we went to the beach to watch the sunrise. Tired, but worth it.
I've come to realize that the divorce isn't my fault and that the things I need to work on are small and minor. A far cry from when was in the middle of it all and the ex was blaming everything under the sun on me. Convincing one, she is. Harley offered to throat punch her if I needed it. She was joking, of course. At least I think so. There is some bad blood between those two.
Last edited by job; 02/13/1711:00 AM. Reason: edited a word for the poster
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Harley offered to throat punch her if I needed it. She was joking, of course. At least I think so. There is some bad blood between those two.
A Harley Quinn quote...
"I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and makes a six-inch-diameter exit wound in you."
Bahahahahaha. I'm dying, Doodler. Needed that laugh.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
