BTW the other man is a coworker ,on dday I wanted to punch his lights out big time,
I told the OM that if he ever went anywhere near my kids that I'd break his legs...and he knew that I would.
I'm with u buddy and brake his arms,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Anyways, I have been doing some deep soul searching lately after haing some pretty intense meetings as well as text conversations with my WW. I feel like I am much closer to making a decision for myself in all of this. It's become extremely clear to me that I do quite well for days/weeks at a time when there is no/very limited contact with her, and then out of nowhere she comes in and reels me back in. It is getting to a point that I am afraid that for me to truly move forward, I am going to have to tell her that I need no contact from this point forward. I hate the thought of this, but it feels like the only thing right now that may save my life.
Anyways, I have been doing some deep soul searching lately after haing some pretty intense meetings as well as text conversations with my WW. I feel like I am much closer to making a decision for myself in all of this. It's become extremely clear to me that I do quite well for days/weeks at a time when there is no/very limited contact with her, and then out of nowhere she comes in and reels me back in. It is getting to a point that I am afraid that for me to truly move forward, I am going to have to tell her that I need no contact from this point forward. I hate the thought of this, but it feels like the only thing right now that may save my life.
You know, I found the same thing. Its much easier to move on with things when contact is non-existent than when it continues. I have to talk to mine every single day. Ugh.
You do what's best for you. No one else. You take care of you first, everything else will fall in line.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I do think NC can be useful for a while to settle yourself - particularly with a spouse who has left but still wants to be in touch and interact with you.
You have choices of how far you go with that of course. Yes, you could announce that to her. Equally, you could auto-route her messages somewhere and just check there every few days (ie: put yourself more in control of the contact.)
For me, XH contacted me using a particular email address and I just took that account off my phone. It was freeing that I could leave the house and I wouldn't know if he had been in touch. Yes, I would check my iPad later, but I wasn't on edge waiting for a 'ding' to say I had an email. It was more on my terms.
Whatever you do, do it because it is best for you and not because you are trying to push her towards some kind of outcome..
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I am going to have to tell her that I need no contact from this point forward.
Why do you have to use WORDS to convey this message?
Exactly what Kaizen said. Just stop communicating. Period. And do not explain it to her. DO NOT!
Yep I've not spoke to my w since July last year,I think its the best thing when there's op involved,and for your own sanity,w is still flat out in replay partying spending money like water and so on,I'm starting to wonder if it will ever end,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
