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dfb Offline
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Hi Pam -

I noticed also that you used the word "hateful" for your conversation this morning. It certainly wasn't that. He was just frustrated.

I know this is a REALLY hard time for you - I hope that if the D does have to happen, that it will be a big weight off your shoulders afterwards. I prefer to see it NOT happen, but you need to really start thinking about YOU and maybe that won't happen until this is all tied up.


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psluke Offline OP
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I didn't grow up with that kind of language and have never really worked around it either.

David's family the really devoute Catholics use that word a lot of the time.

I don't appreciate it at all and do consider it rather hateful.

I actually am thinking about me. I have no idea how the shelties and I will live once the income, house and insurance are all gone.

I would hope most of the people that read my thread would wish for us that the D doesn't happen.


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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psluke Offline OP
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Quote:

David's family the really devoute Catholics use that word a lot of the time.


I want to apologize to everyone for this sarcastic, totally uncalled for remark.

I am really sorry that came out as it did. What his family has done hurts, especially as I thought so highly of them and thought they were like this perfect family, while my own is such a mess.

I let my upset and the anger over them cutting me off lash out here.

It is going to take me a long time I have a feeling to get all of my emotions totally under control.

I really hope everyone will forgive me for that remark.


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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Quote:


I am really sorry that came out as it did. What his family has done hurts, especially as I thought so highly of them and thought they were like this perfect family, while my own is such a mess.

I let my upset and the anger over them cutting me off lash out here.

It is going to take me a long time I have a feeling to get all of my emotions totally under control.

I really hope everyone will forgive me for that remark.




Oh, friend, you have come SO far in your journey.

What a wonderful person in.

I hope that you are taking good care of yourself tonight.

Sage


Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
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dfb Offline
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Well, as someone who never swore much, I've gotten a potty mouth lately. It isn't good, but it isn't hateful either. I use the F word more in a week than I probably had in my entire life until a year or so ago.

He didn't say "**** you, Pam" - which then I'd consider to be nasty. And to me, it has gotten to be not about the language itself but the intent. David was frustrated and said so, in a coarse way. I do it too.

I hope that you and the shelties live okay. I personally don't even own a bed - and I'm doing fine. Sometimes you have to start working from the ground up again.

The point as far as me not wishing to see you divorced - I said you hopefully will have a weight taken off you once it happens. But that doesn't mean I want to SEE it happen. I didn't want you to think I was pro-your divorce, just pro-you getting on with your life.


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dfb Offline
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Quote:


I let my upset and the anger over them cutting me off lash out here.





You are still angry and hurt. I don't think there is anything needing forgiveness.


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psluke Offline OP
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Good Morning Sage,

Thank you for that, although it is actually the same behaviour, I guess that at least realizing it is a start on stopping it BEFORE it happens rather than needing to apologize for it afterwards!

The shelties and I had a pretty good evening.


Pam

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so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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Pam,

Good morning!! Glad you and the kids had a good night.

Join me, I am determined to stay focused on the good and on me! The next plus week will be hard, so let's get that PMA up!

Pattie


When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
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psluke Offline OP
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He didn't say "**** you, Pam" - which then I'd consider to be nasty. And to me, it has gotten to be not about the language itself but the intent. David was frustrated and said so, in a coarse way. I do it too.

Well, I didn't appreciate his anger and language being directed at me.

I do see how he got frustrated but I was very frustrated also. I felt like I wasn't getting his attention and I didn't need it for long, but felt I couldn't get it. That I kept getting swatted at like an annoying fly or something.


I hope that you and the shelties live okay. I personally don't even own a bed - and I'm doing fine. Sometimes you have to start working from the ground up again.

Hey, I'm ahead of you, I have a mattress, no bed frame or furniture. But the shelties and I have slept on the mattress on the floor before and I'm sure we can do it again.

The point as far as me not wishing to see you divorced - I said you hopefully will have a weight taken off you once it happens. But that doesn't mean I want to SEE it happen. I didn't want you to think I was pro-your divorce, just pro-you getting on with your life.

Thank you for the clarification. As I'm sure was obvious I was upset when I responded to you, yesterday was a bit rough.

You are still angry and hurt. I don't think there is anything needing forgiveness.

Yes, I am still angry and hurt. But I don't consider that response appropriate no matter what I am feeling. That is also one of my MAIN problem areas is lashing out when I'm hurting!


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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psluke Offline OP
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Quote:

Pam,

Good morning!! Glad you and the kids had a good night.

Join me, I am determined to stay focused on the good and on me! The next plus week will be hard, so let's get that PMA up!

Pattie


Good Morning Pattie,

So how are we planning to get and keep our PMA UP???


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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