Start w LRT when you're ready. I say this so you don't flip flop.
Be as consistent with your actions as you can. Her behavior will make you go crazy.
Make sure to meditate and find a healthy outlet to express your frustration and anger.
Dont bother communicating w her. In other words, dont talk w her unless you have to. You need to take care of yourself. Its ok if you are indifferent with her for now. She doesnt appreciate your kind gestures. It only makes her angry because she feels guilty.
What are your GALs?
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
What's the success rate for the divorce busting strategy?
I've spent the weekend reading through this message board and see a lot of mixed stories. Lots of people who separated, got back together, separated again, and often divorced. I also some a few that seemed to work out well.
What i was doing was clearly not working, so there's no reason for me not to try this. But, does it work?
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
I joined two different workout gyms, which i'm doing most days that i don't have the kids. One is boxing, which is incredibly therapeutic.
Exercise is the SINGLE best form of anti-depressant there is. There is no boxing in my area, but my gym has a punching bag that I hit regularly. Between that, weights, cardio/sprints, I'm in better shape than ever.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Its only been 3 weeks apart, and im in better shape than in the past few years. And since im not eating much (i dont have much of an appetite), its making me look great. So far, thats the best part of this horrible experience.
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
Did the therapist that specializes in marriage therapy ok this separation? Because when a wayward spouse suggests separation so they can "figure themselves out" what they're really saying is I'm going to pursue a relationship with someone else. I'd like you to hang around as my plan B in case it doesn't work out. Ask yourself if you like being plan B? I promise you this. She won't respect a man who is ok being plan B and no one can love a person they don't respect.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
when a wayward spouse suggests separation so they can "figure themselves out" what they're really saying is I'm going to pursue a relationship with someone else. I'd like you to hang around as my plan B in case it doesn't work out. Ask yourself if you like being plan B? I promise you this. She won't respect a man who is ok being plan B and no one can love a person they don't respect.
That's exactly right and exactly what I did in my first marriage. I have so many regrets...way too late after the fact. But that's a different story. WW don't understand the full impact of destruction on others' lives for years. It's been 12 years and I'm just now really processing it. Anyway, it's true. You don't want to be plan B. Show her your boundaries and she will respect you.
