It was a much needed weekend in more ways than one. I don't know about riding off into the sunset...I've way to much baggage I'm dealing with and don't want to inflict my crap on her. Yet, she called last night and we talked for a while. I would call it friends, but not friend-zone if you know what I mean. Who knows what will happen down the road. I try not to look far down anymore.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
This monster I have created is in the form of attachment. Now she's talking of coming again maybe in the spring. Holy smokes.
I must say that we had a great time. Anyone ever done any swing dancing? I had forgotten just how much fun that was. On our Friday "date" one of the places we stopped in was a local place that does swing dancing every so often. I will just say that Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade" is one hell of a song. I do love that 40's music and Miller is my favorite. Harley had taught me to swing dance way back then. Was rusty a bit as the last time I did it was with her. Man that was fun.
I'm not sure what to do about her. Things are too d@mn complicated.
So, let's delve into this a bit. You saw her for a fun weekend and she wants to do it again between 4 and 6 months from now? So in other words up to three times a year? And this is a problem how? A problem why? What am I missing? It almost seems like in your head she wants to get together every other weekend. Or once a month? Is that how it FEELS to you? I'd be thrilled to find this. How is this a "monster"?
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I say monster/attachment because I don't want to hurt her again. If you recall the initial Harley post, she was hurt pretty badly. Maybe you are correct and it isn't a monster. however, I just don't want her to get hurt again.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I say monster/attachment because I don't want to hurt her again. If you recall the initial Harley post, she was hurt pretty badly. Maybe you are correct and it isn't a monster. however, I just don't want her to get hurt again.
Sooooooo, you decided to have her come out and have a "romantic" nostalgic weekend when you have no intention of that going any further.
Is she aware she is a booty call?
You can let her know in no uncertain terms what your intentions are and let her decide from there.
I was all set to respond and then I saw my female alter ego Ginger beat me to it it. But, yeah, if you are leading her on or lying to her, that's not cool and it will be on you, at least partly, if she gets hurt. However, if you are honest and straight forward with her then it's on her. Just be honest. Beyond that her happiness or any responsibility for it is not on you. A simple, "I'm not at all looking to get back in a R with you or with anyone else at this point. I'd love to spend another weekend together in the spring if you're interested. Im just not looking for more than that." From there it's on her. You are not responsible - just need to be honest.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Sooooooo, you decided to have her come out and have a "romantic" nostalgic weekend when you have no intention of that going any further.
Is she aware she is a booty call?
You can let her know in no uncertain terms what your intentions are and let her decide from there.
Hey Ginger! Thanks for stopping by!
Yeah...it wasn't quite like that, Ginger. She knew ahead of time what she was getting, yet she chose to come. And it wasn't a booty call - I had all intentions of just making it a friendly time, sort of a good to see you and catch up...and maybe set things right from so long ago. Do I want to see her? Of course I do. But what I was saying was that right now I'm working on myself and quite honestly it will be a while before I think relationship stuff.
But things progressed so crazily it was like being sucked into a black hole. I don't know if it was a good idea or not, or maybe it was what was needed. Who knows.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
