Sorry, that should have read another package ot text to your D, not your W.
Definitely not to your W....bleh
On a side note, how's the running coming along? I've been running a lot since the start of this thing but have trouble getting past about the 5 mile mark. Think I'm not fueling myself up well prior to my runs. Sounds like you've got it down though!!!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
My W texted yesterday “taxes are filed.” I replied with “great, please email copy” surprise surprise no email. This really ticks me off. Last time I saw her in Nov, I told her I needed taxes from last year for some school stuff and she quickly jumped on the desktop to delete files and told me she’d email them to me. (she knows I need them for school, she even expressed some frustration that the school hasn’t gotten it together) So I agreed. Stupid. Well I logged into the IRS website and I can get copies there. However, I don’t understand why in the world she would ignore my request, its NOT that hard. Hit email. I don’t get why. That’s a jerk-ish move. We never talk and then she pulls this crap. It’s annoying and I’m done with her sh!t. For someone who claims I’m the love of her life, she’s got a screwed way of showing it. At any rate, I’m not going to text her to ask for it. I won’t show frustration, just go about my way and figure things out myself. I don’t need her. And frankly, this crappy person, I don’t want her either. I’m starting to have thoughts along the lines of “I hope she has a really crappy Vday” I don’t like them, for my sake, but I do catch myself thinking things along those lines quite frequently.
LT, thank you for the kind words and encouragement. I truly appreciate you swinging by my thread. Running is going really well. I have a 10k race this Saturday. Trying to figure out what I’ll do with my car keys, since I won’t have anyone with me. (first time for everything) Anyway, I’m on track to shave off 10mins from my last 10k. & I'm well on my way to my half marathon this April. It [censored] not seeing my D but I think like everything, time heals all wounds. I’m preparing my self to mail out a box of the last of her things. I had a pj we bought for her for when she came to spend the night at my place. Only happened twice though. And a couple other gifts I got her in Mexico. Along with some letters I wrote to her when her Birth father wouldn’t let me talk to her either. In hindsight, I should’ve known my W would eventually keep D from me, since she was OK with Birth father keeping her from me. That should’ve told me everything I needed to know, but as always one is hopeful. I think reaching out to D is not wise. I fear I will get emotionally sucked back into the roller coaster. And frankly, I’m quite ok with out them. I hope D is truly doing better. D has some major issues, I hope W has put her in IC for D’s sake. I would like to think that D is no longer having a hard time with my absence (D’s teacher last year was the only non-biased person that really gave me insight to how hard it had been on D)But I don’t think I’ll never know, as I don’t see my W admitting other wise, and I don’t see a future with them.
About it for my side of the screen. In a good place. Trying to keep negative thoughts out of my head, such as wishing my W not well, and thinking I’m doing too well and waiting for the other shoe to drop again. On my head.
In a good place. Trying to keep negative thoughts out of my head, such as wishing my W not well, and thinking I’m doing too well and waiting for the other shoe to drop again. On my head.
No expectations. Just keep that in the back of your mind and go on w/ making cheesyt into an even better version of yourself! I am really sorry about the situation w/ your D. It truly does suck, but you are approaching it the right way cheesy. Push forward and let the chips fall where they may.
One thing I have seen and continue to see with you is that you continue to make an amazing life for yourself! Even as you've struggled (as we all have), you've kept moving forward and that seems like the key to getting out the other side of this thing. You're a strong and good person cheesyt. You don't deserve this, but be proud of how you're handling and facing it. Keep up the great work my friend!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Not as detached as I hoped I was. Got texts from wife this morning. Business like, taxes, cell phone. And told me to finish changing my bills out of the joint act, as she wants it closed after our taxes get deposited. Then W texted “If I file for divorce are you going to draw it out? Or do you think we can just agree on it?” I think a little part of me died a little. Again. I know I’ve been thinking about D, I know a piece of paper will not change my life, or what I have going on in my life. I know this. However I cannot help but feel…scared, Or hurt that My wife has got to be happy with SOW to want to D me. I loved her so much. I still do. I know there was no doubt in her mind how much I loved her. So it hurts that I couldn’t be the one she was happy with. I replied with “ I don’t want to divorce you. I still love you and D10. But if that’s what you want, I won’t fight it.” W has not replied. I hope she doesn’t. I just don't want to talk about it. If W wants this D she needs to file and I will deal with it tuff is getting real I guess. Time to make sure I have a belt for my big girl pants. It’s like all the failures and all the hopes and dreams of our Marriage are re-shattered. I don’t know. Trying to keep it together. Nothing will change after D. W and I will continue to live separate lives, and will not communicate. Nothing changes for cheesy. And then I think back to nov, when I last saw my wife. And how for the following week until thanksgiving she was remorseful and even asked if we could try counseling. Where in the world did those thoughts go?! I really thought we would work it out.
Don't listen to her cheesyt. She hasn't filed for D yet, which in and of itself says something. Even if she does, you've come a long way and continue to be an amazing person. Your W truly is the "fool" of which we all speak, for not seeing this wonderful person she is leaving.
I completely get that you're scared right now. Even with the brutal nature of my W's feelings towards me, I still recognize that I've got some fear beneath the surface. Fear of how my D will grow up in a split household, fear of how my W's life will end up, fear of how I will do alone if it comes to that. I know that fear, I think we all do. You aren't alone in it.
I'd be hesitant to assume your W is happy with SOW. She may or may not be. Not something you can control, nor should you dwell on it. Nothing but unhealthy stuff down that path. I do like your response to your W, but I'd cut it off there if she does respond. Don't respond back to it. Unsure of when the last time you talked to her was, but it's possible it could be temp checking. Who knows. Regardless, it's probably better for you not to get pulled into a R talk, as you know where that'll go.
I know that you'll be ok cheesy. You have some many positive things in your life. So many people that care about you. If your W is too blind to see how awesome you are, then she doesn't deserve having you in her life anyway. You are right, you will be ok and you will be happy again cheesy. Stay strong and true to yourself. You rock!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
I agree with LT....who knows why she asked that since she has asked it in the past and didn't do anything. Maybe she will and maybe she won't. You have been doing great with working on you and you have actually been happy with your new little family!
I get the fear, I was scared all the time about what if she does follow through with the D...what am I going to do without her? What I have learned is that we cannot count on other people to make us happy, we will be let down everytime. We have to love ourselves and be okay with ourselves.
I saw a Instagram post that said "You're gonna be happy," said life, "but first I'll make you strong."
Hang in there and try not to "worry" about what she will or will not do...you can only control yourself!
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
Wife never replied. Thankfuly. I don't know that I could've read another D text. Kind of just waiting here to get served with D papers. Not looking forward to that but I can at least attempt to mentally prepare.
LT, thanks man. I truly appreciate your words of encouragement. Yeah, trying not to dwell on if my W is happy. though my thought is if she isn't happy why isn't she back / working on our R? so my only logical response is, she's gotta be happier there than with me. Which is a major blow.
Hawk, working on not worrying about her. easier said than done as I'm sure you're aware.
Cheesyt, sorry to hear about the D text, I know how deep that cuts even if just the day before you were expecting it it suddenly becomes more real in that moment.
I second what others have stated. You can't control your W and you can't lean on her for your own happiness. Like hawk said, we'll be let down every time if we put our happiness in someone else's hands. Easier said than done when you love someone though, I know.
Obviously all I know about you is from this forum, but what I do know is that you're a very kind-hearted person that loves with all she's got. That's an amazing quality and your W is indeed the "fool" as lt put it for leaving someone willing and able to give so much of themselves to their partner.
It [censored] that anyone is going through this, but you're a wonderful person and only getting better each day. You'll come through this all the better no matter how it shakes out. Stay strong. I'm glad you have such a great support system there with you!
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
LIVID. i am so mad. W transferred out money for her half of taxes. Also there was a transfer of some money, well today, now that everything's been transferred out, i can see what the transfers are titled. one is "half of Divorce filing fee" are you freaking kidding me??!?!?! not only does she take EVERYTHING and then she wants me to pay for a divorce I DO NOT WANT!
what is wrong with this woman.
I am pissed. I emailed her Wife, I did not authorize you to take any $$$ out from my part of taxes, especially not for a D filing fee in the sum of $$$$.$$ This is something you want, therefore it is your responsibility to file on your own. When I receive the paperwork I will be responsible to respond and pay my portion of fees.
thank you, cheesy.
that's my signature on all my emails though.
at first i was sad, got teary eyed. my heart started racing, when i opened up the account and saw the title of the transfer, then and now i am just beyond mad. How dare she kick me out of MY home, with nothing but the clothes on my back and my car, she took OUR money out, (just went through statements, the money she used to pay the mortgage after she asked me to leave came from last years taxes), she took out a CD, (to help pay for mortgage after me) she kept EVERYTHING. this woman stripped me of EVERYTHING. I had to struggle and get to where i am on MY OWN. because the person I trusted whole heatedly, the person who VOWED to be by my side took it all.
I hope STBXW does not reply. it'll only make me more mad.
