Hey Bright! This December will be 5 years since my wife's Mom died, and she started questioning everything. 3 months later, I got the bomb. There's a thread here somewhere discussing if there was some kind of trigger for your spouses crises... maybe started by Wonka? (Are you still out there, girl friend? ) Very interestingly, there were plenty of common themes. Maybe someone smarter than me can find it and link it here.
Linda, thanks for yankin' me back in here, it's been kinda fun! Hugs and kisses...
Oh, and I almost forgot... one of my obligatory corny love songs...
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Just a quick word to say best wishes for the née year and to wonder if you will journal again soon. Regardless I wish you all the best
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Hi roist, thanks for stopping by, and Happy New Year to you too!
Things are going fairly well for both of us over here, I really can’t complain. (but surprise, sometimes I still do!)
I just keep on making the best of things and enjoying each day as much as possible. Much better than waiting for some outcome or finish line, I believe. I give my wife my best and I know she is doing the same. Some things she just isn’t capable of giving right now. I still believe this can change.
But, she does end up pleasantly surprising me time and time again. Gosh, I Love my girl!
We had a good discussing regarding the State of the Union recently.
Wife says she is content enough, and that she understands things could be worse. Funny, that I feel the same way! But there’s little doubt that she struggles greatly at certain moments… Much more than I do. I know because we live together and she’s told me.
I asked if she’d agree to see a counselor “to save our Marriage” (!) She said yes, so I’m setting something up. I hope this can be a stepping stone for the healing she deserves... and an even better connection for the two of us.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Hey FY, Happy New Year! Just stopped by to see how things were going. Always happy to check in and see this kind of post. You never disappoint
Choose the counselor well, amigo. And best of luck!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Early in my time here you once posted to me that my wife didn't sound too checked out, and that you thought we had a good chance of making it. Your positive assessment meant a lot to me at the time, and I've often recalled it. Thanks for not saying she's good as gone, stop your crying!
I searched and found a counselor who I felt was most appropriate for our situation, and thanks to a cancelation we managed to get in tonight. Wife opened up at least as much as I hoped she would, and the therapist focused on her. In the end wife agreed to see her privately, starting next week! Maybe she is finally tired of feeling the way she does. I hope she finds what she needs and deserves. Actually, I'm excited and have high hopes. Bust On!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Hey FY, Happy New Year! Thanks for stopping by to update! I'm happy to hear that things are progressing. AJ is right, you are an inspiration here! Keep going and good luck with the counselor!
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I am happy for you and wish ye luck with the counseling. I hope she is ready for it. Does she seem committed to improving the M?
I hope you will drop by to let us know how it progresses.
On a selfish note I hope to read soon that the two of ye do achieve a full and happy M. I say selfish, though I would be delighted for you, as I personally would like to have an example of someone who stuck it out in house and achieved that full rich loving R we all seek. I am looking for that success story to hold onto in my moments of doubt.
To me you already are a success and a hell of a role model. Maybe one day I will achieve that too. I think my M is not beyond saving. Time will tell.
Good luck again and best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
I am so happy to read that you have found a counselor who fits the bill for your situation. I think your wife is getting tired of how she feels and she does want to understand why she feels the way she does.
I wish you and your wife all of the best and may the new year be the best one yet for the two of you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
) Very interestingly, there were plenty of common themes. Maybe someone smarter than me can find it and link it here.
