The sun will rise for a new day

[ATPeace]

Hi

Ok so I am just posting I have a question that must have been answered lots of time my W says that she wants to be in separate houses says I do not do enough still not doing enough too much resentment built up will not work on relationship

We have been separated for 18 months She is not selling the house has made no effort to do so but wants to live apart

I feel that I am getting to the point of wanting to live in seperat houses do I put it on the market myself to sell or should it come from her.

She was the one that wanted to end things

Thanks in advance

[Sotto]

I do think living together must be difficult in these circumstances. When I read the threads of others who cohabit at times like this, I do feel that is the hardest situation.

I always work on the basis of - decide and do. If you decide (for your own best interests and those of your kids) that it is time to separate, go ahead and facilitate this.

If you remain committed to saving the marriage, and want to continue being in the same house, do that.

I don't think the 'who should this come from' is a useful question. Maybe you feel it 'should' come from your W as she initiated wanting to end the M.

But we can all wait around for others to do what they 'should' do - or we can get on and do for ourselves.

JMHO of course and hope this helps :-)

[ATPeace]

Thank you

[ATPeace]

Merry Christmas my friends another Christmas Day over

Way too much food and drink consumed

Played happy family's and games after Christmas lunch

I did too much snooping and left myself feeling upset learn from this

I just want to write to my W and try to get her to sing from the same song book try and persuade her to work on the marriage this is not healthy for our kids so glad I posted that here as I cannot control her

I fear being alone yet I already am

Ok so time to start moving in a direction

What stops a seperateion or a divorce getting bitter
Sorry not much progress from me I really wish I has lmanagedmto take a small,step

[Fogg]

ffs Ghost. You have been alone for what, 19 months? That will change when you stop thinking about her, not when you find another woman or get her back(that's not happening, sorry to be so blunt)

"and persuade her to work on the marriage"

What marriage, Ghost? There is no marriage, it died long ago and its not coming back. You have to accept that and let it go. Give yourself permission to let this idea go of saving it. You are wasting your life hanging onto this now. Please, let her go.

[sandi2]

What happened to your plans of moving away and buying property there?

Did you ever talk to a lawyer?

Have you been to any more counseling sessions?

[SH_]

To worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can.

[ATPeace]

Yes we have been separated for 19 months but every day I see her and we do do things together and as a family I guess she is just comftable doing this so she gets to see the children

Still not found a place

Not filed for divorce

Not in separate houses yet but heading this way

I have been to several more counciling sessions but I still clearly struggle,to take a step.

I have spoken with a lawyer and have much of the information I need

I need more gal and need to get back to the gym

[SH_]

Your list tells us what you have not done...

Do you have any positive updates to share?
What are your immediate next steps?


You know what they say about eating an elephant and the journey of a thousand miles, right?

You don't have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great. -Zig Ziglar

You cannot change your destination overnight, But you can change your direction.
-Jim Rohn.

The clock is still ticking my friend.
Tick Tock
Tick Tock

[ATPeace]

SH thank you for checking by

I do understand my marriage is over my difficulty begins now with making decisions ...

My sister and my mum live 180 miles away from me

My eldest daughter 18 years old and I have never been very close yet she will move with me if I buy a house Near to my mum and my sister where she can keep her horses (free of charge) she almost certainly would not move in with me if I buy a house without land

I have a son who would move with me he too likes the country so he says he would move with me

My second youngest son he says he would like to live up here so he can still see his friends but he would visit me

And my three year old would stay here with mum I do not get the choice to have her live with me

I would see her as and when I travel back from the county approx 180 miles

I work during th day time so I do not get th chance to see my youngest much but because my wife works some nights I do get to spend time with my daughter who I love with all my heart

My room is next to hers if she wakes I normally go to her as I get there first some nights when she wakes she asked to sleep in my bed she and I snuggle in my bed I like the closeness I guess I do not see her much daytimes so I see this as being close to my daughter .

So I am torn between moving closer to my sister and away from my W clean break distance between us so I can move in easier or live closer to my W but in different houses but I can see the kidss and when I like easier

The house down her would be smaller but it is not just about the house size I am trying to make everyone happy and in the process i am so indecisive that I am upsetting my older children as I am not taking a step