Last nights texts about christmas and debit card went nowhere and got out of hand. I feel like ive lost even more. And im now questioning if anything i do is for right reasons. Of course anyone in her camp feels im being unreasonable and using the kids to hurt her. Anyone in my camp thinks ive been way to nice for too long...
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
I know what you mean. I eventually learned to embrace my inner Dr. Evil (as perceived by my WW) and had fun with it. Just ignore the bullsh*t and get out and do something fun.
Asking her to drop herself from credit cards, banking accounts, or whatever, is going to cause contention, b/c those sources serve her cake. Anything you can take charge and have done without her permission, then IMHO, you should just do it and then tell her. Not to be underhanded, but just taking care of business.
Quote:
Almost sent "why are you getting defensive" etc.
You know why she's getting so defensive! I'm glad you didn't send that message, b/c it is an invitation for a spew session. Don't open doors by throwing out questions like that quote. You will not like what comes through it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I think either im having an epiphony or just desperate to change my approach. I think i have been a little too focused on being stubborn about my wife not getting her fantasyland. Trying to "force" consequences on her. I can imagine OM is totally agreeable to anything my wife says or requests of him, so she chooses him. So i think maybe if i switch to this approach, one to stop these pointless bickering matches and two maybe my stubborness is one of the things that pushed her away from the marriage. So next time she takes or asks, state my point of veiw but then let her call the shots. Seems counter intuitive. So im gonna pull her diy divorce draft out, take to my lawyers, have him set things up as the most fair draft he can, then leave them for her to decide to file on... Cooperate, without actually filing myself.. As far as kids and OM, Up to this point ive stepped up my dad/husband skills at home, all its done is taken the parenting pressure off them. Maybe its time to relax, play single dad a little, less responsible more fun.. I still will be cutting off the joint checking access and enforcing any property/financial boundries i can.
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Saying and doing are two very different things. Im just maybe realizing ive been a little antagonistic...? Maybe even the last few years of our marriage. So now im gonna try hard not to provoke her, or point out the consquences. Let her sink the ship, im not the one hurting the kids, it was her choice. I cant protect them from her choice either
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Wife just left joint file diy papers again on my counter. With a note, telling me here are the joint file papers. If i am interested in joint please look, if not she will file them for us. Now once again im feeling backed into a corner. Im dont want divorce, but i dont want case more resentment towards me by being stubborn and uncooperative. So help me break this down please.. as my emotions are in control
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
If i am interested in joint please look, if not she will file them for us.
Looks like she is trying to control the situation.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Previous set she left i made disappear because she didnt talk about, leave a note or mention, just kept leaving lay around. This time she left a note on them... I am annoyed that she used my printer while i wasnt home to print them off. So in the spirit of taking the higher road and not being antagonistic, what are some ways to deal with them. My wife will be here again, 5am tomorow morning
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
