Thanks Rose, I appreciate the advice. I don't normally pay attention to who likes them either, it just happened to be the very first thing I saw when I opened it. Between that and her texting me a song yesterday I didn't know if that was considered temp checking or not. Temp checking is a little bit of a mystery to me still.
I used to go every year, but I got burned out and I've been loving not going for the last few years. Way too crazy and rather pointless in my opinion.
Enjoy your quiet day at home.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
I think it's great that you hold back on responding. Let her do whatever she will do. You can only control your own actions. My understanding of detaching is not to be affected emotionally, not "stop contacting me don't you know I am trying to detach?!". I should point out that I am making the exact same mistake myself.
Me: 33 H: 32 T: 10 years M: 2 BD: Aug 2016 H moved out Aug 20, 2016 S: 17 months old
Thanks, Maybe. I just don't even have a desire to respond to things like the song, or even when we do text about finances and such she always elaborates and says things like how much she trusts me. I just ignore those too. All of my responses are strictly down to business, I'm giving her nothing aside from what is necessary. It doesn't change the fact that her doing things like that crawls all over me, but I'm not going to show that to her.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
Not sure what triggered it, maybe feelings of rejection surfacing, but I'm extremely angry tonight. My mess have my married name on them that I was actually just in the process of getting changed at my W's request. She asked me to change it, and of course I was okay with that, but now looking at that name makes me so angry. I hate it, and unless I go ahead and file for divorce I can't change it back.
I don't know what to do with all of this anger. I feel like it is just boiling inside and going to explode in a not so pretty way. Maybe it is because I've been using anger to prevent feelings of sadness, I don't know, but I'm really beginning to not the angry version of myself either.
Going to do some breathing exercises and mindfulness.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
Hawker, I'm hanging in there. Most days I'm able to not think about it much and when I do think about my sitch or my W I can usually feel pretty detached from it. Obviously I have occasions where I get a bit angry about it all, but thankfully those moments pass.
W and I don't speak much at all, and when we do I keep it all business. She seems to enjoy throwing extra things in there though for some reason. Like Friday we had to discuss (via text) getting our joint account closed and she had to include how she wasn't worried about me having access to her money because she trust me completely. I thought to myself, well I don't trust you worth a dang, but of course I just ignored her comment and didn't acknowledge it. She also seems to be more "talkative" when she isn't with OW. I just also ignore those.
How are you doing Hawker?
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
Augh my w gets talkative when not around OW I hate it. We aren't around for THEIR enjoyment or cake eating! Geez! Hang in there! Strictly business is a good move!!!!
I saw on 20/20 or something like that some company that will set up a room full of glass, china, tvs, etc and for a fee you get to go in with a bat and sledge hammer and take out your frustration. Ended up that about 80% of the clientele are married women. Lol
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Hawker, I'm hanging in there. Most days I'm able to not think about it much and when I do think about my sitch or my W I can usually feel pretty detached from it. Obviously I have occasions where I get a bit angry about it all, but thankfully those moments pass.
W and I don't speak much at all, and when we do I keep it all business. She seems to enjoy throwing extra things in there though for some reason. Like Friday we had to discuss (via text) getting our joint account closed and she had to include how she wasn't worried about me having access to her money because she trust me completely. I thought to myself, well I don't trust you worth a dang, but of course I just ignored her comment and didn't acknowledge it. She also seems to be more "talkative" when she isn't with OW. I just also ignore those.
How are you doing Hawker?
She's trying to keep you engaged. Shows she's picking up on your detachment. Well done fightin! Every post of yours has a different tone now. Well done!
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
