Moved out, working on GAL

[hawker]

Hey...as Blu so nicely pointed out to me is that don't worry about being rude, they are cheating on you and left the R....it took me WAY to long to do what I am doing now....I was in the friend zone for many months and now my W has filed....be friendly but not friends...like Blu told me act like your W is the nerd at school that is wanting to get to know you better.

[fightin]

I remember reading that on your thread. Makes me chuckle a bit! I will keep that in mind. You're right, she's cheating on me, even though now that we're separated she doesn't see it as cheating on my anymore, so she doesn't deserve niceties from me. I don't want to be a jerk by any means, but if she pries I can feel okay about shutting her down even if she perceives that as rude.

I still seem to go back and forth between totally okay and a hot mess just wanting my W and best friend back. I know need to not think about it, but this is the first day my W will be able to have the OW at her house overnight. Weirds me out a little to know someone else will be sleeping where I used to just 3 nights ago. Makes me sad and angry to feel so easily replaced.

[hawker]

It was funny when Blu said that...I chuckled as well. You will have your ups and downs for awhile, it is all part of the process and it is ok!! Its totally normal...I cried more this year than I ever cried in my lifetime...and I am totally serious. Yes I had the same type of feelings (still do) that my W moved right in with someone after living here for 10 years. Just remember they are wayward and selfish right now....the old S you married is gone.

This is the time to focus on you!!! ;-) Stay strong, you have a good handle on what you are supposed to be doing and its early in your sitch...I wish I would have been stronger at first but it is what it is.....

[fightin]

Ugh, got a call this evening from my exes (previous ex) ex-H. Both the kids live with him now due to them not approving of her life choices so their dad is filing for a modification to the divorce decree. He wanted to give me a heads up in case the court wants to talk to me since I've been an active part of their lives for the last 7 years. Not exactly what I want to be dealing with right now.

In other news, I saw a movie with my folks tonight and then went to show the rental to a potential tenant. Hoping it goes through because it will be one less thing on my plate right now.

W texted this afternoon to let me know I received a letter from my nephew who is currently in boot camp with the Marines. I just said "Thanks, I'll pick it up Wed." and asked her if she got my hiking boots out of the travel trailer. She forgot. Hopefully she'll remember some day, those things are darn comfortable and expensive. Ha! I'd get them myself, but I no longer have access to anything.

[fightin]

Hawker, I think you're doing great now! I got super lucky (or divine intervention maybe?) that I found this site within 24 hours of BD.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this forum and you amazing people have literally help save my life more than once. The support and inspiration here is like nothing I've ever experienced before.

[cheesyt]

In my humble opinion it doesn't matter If you think you're nice or being mean. I was kind and friendly when refusing to give answers to my W and she still said I was a jerk & mean. Honestly I think it has to do with you just not giving them the answer or information they're looking for, not the kindness or demeanor. They are going to see you as they do regardless of you how truly behave. Do you, It's about you now. That lesson took me some months. It's only about you now!

[fightin]

Thanks cheesy, I'll get it officially. I have to accept that it is okay to have ups and downs and not to despair when I'm down. I have a session with IC Wed so looking forward to that for at least some grounding. Also looking forward to seeing my SS; I sure miss his sweet face!

[fightin]

Um, I'll get it *eventually*. Sheesh!

[cheesyt]

hahaha to be honest I read your reply last night and clearly didn't notice. I just thought you meant like...officially one day you'll get it. officially does make some sense.

[fightin]

So I'm finally sleeping pretty normally, and I can eat without getting sick to my stomach. I'd count that as progress!

Still a little nervous about tomorrow since I'll see W for the first time since I moved out. Maybe if I pretend she's my previous X who mostly just annoys me that will help with treating her like she's the nerdy kid at school or a nosy neighbor. Maybe I won't need any skills because she won't try to chat me up at all. Who knows.